Judge — February 1937 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

the Germans get there. He is just in time to find Armand’s gone completely off his conk; his wife old. They escape in a assing wagonload of corpses, and just efore the reader goes crazy Renee and Armand, wandering far behind.the lines, are killed by a stray shell. We suggest you read this on a real dark night; have some nice fresh bats flitting around overhead; lightning and thunder flashing outside; iron doors and shutters banging in the wind offscene; hands reaching in and flicking the lights on and off; while the ghosts of the rela- tives you murdered for their insurance wander in the walls. It's as jittery pleas- ant a macabre chiller as has been knocked off since Poe. The Big Broadcast “FRIENDS, I wish you could be here! The excitement and suspense are simply terrific! There can be no doubt that they've found his hide-out and they're getting ready to close in on him. We've set up a microphone not more than fifty feet away and . . . ha-ha! . . . I don't mind telling you your announcer. . . ha-ha-ha!... is... ah... just a little bit nervous. The Federal men are right up in front, warning everyone to keep quiet. I think they're going to try and take him alive! And the police are trying to keep the crowd back, but people keep breaking through, struggling to get closer. The reporters and cameramen and newsreel men are tiptoeing around, cau- tious but alert. Ah! I think... No. Not yet. One of the government men raised one arm to silence the crowd and it looked as if the zero hour had come. Oh, what a moment this is! And while we're waiting let me tell you again that this broadcast is coming to you through the courtesy of the McWiffle Mustard Works, makers of McWiffle’s Magic Mustard, the mustard that .. . He’s com- ing out! .. . He’s coming out! ... Now the crowd is ghastly silent! ... Anything might happen here in the next few sec- onds, friends! .. . There he is! .. . He’s out! ... Two of the Federal men are try- ing to sneak up behind him! . . . One of the cameramen is holding up his camera . .. If he touches off that flashlight gun it may spoil everything! . « » Oh, there come six more officers! . . . They've got him almost surrounded! . . . He hasn't a chance... Yes, he has! .. . He sees them now! ... He's terrified! . . . He looks to right and left! .. . He’s gone! .. . He got away! .. . Just as they leaped for him he ducked back into his hideout again! ... Well, friends, it looks like an early Spring! . . . You have just heard a move-by-move broadcast of a groundhog coming out of his hole and seeing his own shadow. This program came to you, HG ete... ” —CHET JOHNSON. DEPRESSION’S OVER (Continued from page 20) working overtime too, so as to have everything done by Saturday, and you needn't yelp, because there certainly isn’t any sense to my wearing new clothes in a rundown.looking house. Just the same as I realized, once I got to thinking it over, that there wasn't any sense to our turning our car in on another small one when we could just as well have a big sedan—especially since the agency peo- ple allowed me fifty dollars. So 1 made the down payment and—Jobn, will you stop shrieking?” “Whaddayou mean down payment, f'crying out loud—!!@XX**!" “John! Katie will hear you! Actually, you're carrying on as though you were mad that the depression is all over. As a matter of fact, I was thinking we really ought to have two new cars.” MILESTONES This is a great country. Amateurs are featured on coast-to-coast networks while professionals work twice a year in benefit performances. v One poor fellow we know, has been looking out through the Venetian blinds of cocktail lounges so long that now he's beginning to see pink elephants built in layers. v And our idea of a die-hard is the fel- low who encloses a valentine with the alimony check. v With Florida excluding bums, fans are wondering where the Dodgers will hold their spring training. v As a last resort President Roosevelt can always obtain a pretty fair idea of the number of unemployed just by dropping in on a burlesque show matinee. v Our creditors are a tough lot. Now they've taken to following us in to Bank Night. v to have the the sidewalk Anyhow it’s somethin; snow on the streets an cafes off them. Remar If you have the lips of a Colonel, you will be as delighted as the Kentuckians with this “double- rich” straight Bourbon of Kentucky! COPR. 1934, SCHENLEY DISTRIBUTORS, INC, N.Y. y, KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY comicbooks.com