Judge — February 1937 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Fair Enough Friends, I give you the blonde (Don’t crowd! And one to a customer's all that's allowed). But pray consider this charming creature Whose sunny locks are her featured feature. By virtue of tresses fairy fair She knows how to get in our men-folks’ hair, And the blonde gets along and the blonde gets by, Where the dark girl only gets mud in her eye. Oh, who gets these and who gets those, And never makes over her last year’s clothes? And who is born with a special charm And a diamond bracelet on either arm? Of torrid triangles, who is the co-sign? Who has them hanging out the S.R.O. sign? Who always nabs off the stellar part? Who but Goldielocks, bless her heart! Life’s choicest goodies come to her— The gal whom gentlemen prefer. Brunettes get fallen arches waiting on tables, While the blonde gets stoop-shouldered wearing sables, “Egbert, for the last time, will you get fod should she Bump ot ; eerie my dear, it's * "9 Aghtly dismissed as girlish itits, your feet off the love-seat? While the dark gitl's life is drab and dreary . . . Where's that there peroxide, dearie? —ETHEL JACOBSON. Delighted If— Dear Mrs. Jones: If circumstances are favorable I should be more than delighted to spend the next week-end at your charming country place, but before I enter into contracts of this kind it is my custom to submit to the hostess a short questionnaire. Won't you be good enough, Mrs. Jones, to get out your pen, answer this, and drop it in the next mail: 1, Do you own any dogs? If so, (a) Are they friendly? (b) Are they so friendly they scratch at guests’ bedroom doors all night in an effort to further the friendship? 2. Will charades be played? Authors? 3. Are guests expected to get Sunday night supper? If so, must they also wash dishes? 4. On how strong a hand do you make a two-bid? 5. Do you serve whiskey sours be- fore breakfast? After breakfast? During breakfast? Please supply details. 6. Among the other guests will there be any fresh air fiends? Musicians? Ath. letes? Debutantes? Literary critics? 7. Is skating compulsory or optional? 8. What time do you get up on Sun- day mornings? 9. Do you meet guests at the station? 10. Kindly list all trains going back to the city beginning at eight Sunday morning. Thanking you in advance. —Parke CUMMINGS. “He crawled in after a fox and got stuck!” comicbooks.com