Judge — January 1937 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Hello, chief? Guess who this is!” Horse Feathers The horse is a noble And trusty steed, A friend of man Who's a friend indeed; A friend in war, And a friend in peace To poloists, ploughmen, And mounted police. Imagine Ben Hur, The charioteer, Or Lady Godiva, Or Paul Revere, Or bloods on a canter Through the park, Or equestrian statues Of Joan of Arc, Or Jesse James, Or a bareback artiste— Without this dumb But deserving beast. So here's to the horse— An oat-filled bin, A verdant pasture To frolic in, A lump of sugar, And a nice, warm stall— Excepting the filly Who had my all On her velvet nose In the sixth, today, And who romped in last Like a spavined dray. HERE COMES THE BRIDE! “Brides’ School To Graduate Its First Class Today.""—Headline. The final examination might well have been something like this: 1. Should the. bride’s bouquet be thrown at her mother-in-law, the tallest bridesmaid, the house detective, the min- ister? 2. What is the approved method of disposing of 6 pairs of candlesticks with- out offending the various donors? 3. Which of the following articles is the most difficult to remove from a bride's hair: Confetti, mother-in-law, dandruff, rice, photographers? 4, How soon after the honeymoon is over does a love nest become a two-room walk-up on West 12th Street? 5. Name three methods of commu- nicating with your husband when he's hiding behind his morning newspaper. 6. What are the odds against the bride and groom leaving on their honey- moon when (a) the front and back doors are barricaded with wedding guests, (b) a playful bridesmaid has let the air out of the automobile tires, (c) the ushers have gotten the chauffeur plastered, (d) the bride's brother has hidden the suitcases in the cellar, (e) the bride’s going-away shoes have been thrown at the matron of honor? 7. One of the following words is incorrectly spelled: Burned, biskets, can- opener, henpecked, divorce, alimony. —Jack CLuetr “He just woke up and thinks we're the floor show.” Judge comicbooks.com