Judge — February 1936 — page 19: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Judge, Jr. Flannel Night Cap Award No. 2 s FE. Townse Long Beach, Cal Citation: To actuaries and economists old enough to er the strect without holding on to nursie’s Dr. Townsend’s OARP plan is so utterly fan- tastic it isn’t worth the breath to refute. But econ- mists don't elect. Mayor men or Pre dents—more’s the pity, Ane means yor, litle man, with God and your ballot! parent simplicity lies the that it can create prosperity hy robbing Peter (you know boys) to pay Paul (Dizzy’s brother.) The tax on all “tr actions”, ich th xl Dr. claims will sustain 1 bubble Fi even your clevator man knows, manufacturing, t down the line—with you, my frand, on the re- g end as Mr. Ultimate Consumer, It means out Juni i: and give it skyrocketi vi S40 suit setting you back some $250. pyramid all taxes of each step Hence: the Flannel > at Cap to Francis own send, and for sake’s, Doe, don’t talk in your sleep ! Yoonior Yoomps! UR department stores now have ski slides. Here you may get your lumps without the necessity of travel ing for hours on Snow Trains. And when you are carried out, you're just around the corner from ‘21’, with the St. Ber- nards waiting! Nothing could be screwier except, perhaps, an automobile race track in the Junior Misses However, coming from a long line of toughies whose family crest bears the motio, “Try Everything Once !”, surmounted by an arnica bottle rampant, Junior got out his coonskin gleves and mushed up through the drifts to the 6th floor of Saks Fifth Ave. Saks’ sk ide is made of wood—hard wood; sixty -foot drop. It is carpeted, and powdered with borax in the best. Hollywood manner. It's slippery 1 absconding bank clerk, and on it the h exp an do. practically anything. Plausi- ble fellows, too... “Sure, we teach you to yoomp—here. Then you do him out- and he iss easy, yah?” To which Yoonior responds, after several lessons and lesions, “Nah!” kis are funny th if we may mint a phrase. They tend |, once you have started the coast downhill. The end to get crossed, and this is very bad indeed. eyes also get crossed, from trying to pick out a soit in the upholstery dept. on which We haven't und it yet, th we did set s which the Olympic boys at Garmisch-Partenkire' won't be able to touch with the longest sk le ever made, r instance, we tore down the boraxed incline, arms flap- ping, and struck a patch of waxed floor at 40 hour. — Shoppers dropped their bundles and_ fled, shrieki We went right throv Fur Coats, collecting a racoon coat and a beaver muff without slackit a particle. Still out of control our skis took us kahooting down a flight of s ough kitchen- wares like a tin-plated typhoon, and smack-bang into Jewelry. When we whizzed out on the other side, our pockets were full of emeralds, can y’ imagine? Again, attempting what the Stock holm trade calls a “Stem Chris- tianer”, which is stopping at full flight by turning sideways, we got to spinning like crazy. Round and round, until the nap of t slide flew like fur in a cat fight and the wood be! smoke. People yelled ire!” c ith began to and just as our skis burst into flames the firemen arrived and wet us down, which is why you see Junior sitting here at home, sniffling. (Page 25, please) comicbooks.com