Judge — December 1935 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIGH HAT “Chris’mus Gift, suh!” HAT’S the way they start the great pay-off day off, man and boy, once you get south of Washington, D. C. And accompanying this greeting (which is supposed to be accompanied by something more substantial than a wave of the hand, suh) is the raising of a creamy cup of God's Gift to Sinful Man—Christmas F Nog! Here's how God’s miracle is wrought, in case you can read a recipe and have the wherewithal to herd the happy ingredients together: 1 dozen eggs (“aigs” to you, suh) 1 qt. double cream (and don’t spare the whip, Sam) ach 1 rourded tablespoonful of sugar to 8 ozs. *rye whiskey (and make it good, Cunnel) Dash of rum (Jamaica rings the bell) Be: y (holler “Une To the well-beaten yellows and sugar, add Whiskey s-l-o-w-l-y gs separate! * you aigs) Fold in (this means “add gently,” you skull you) the beaten whites, and whipped cream, (#32 oz. = 1 qt. 16 02. 1 pt. 80z. = 1 glass) All you have to do after that, suh, is th’ow away that wide-brimmed black hat, fold up yo’ coat-tails under yo’ what-sis, drape yo’se’f in an ole easy chair hard by a purty woman, and call, from time to time, “Henn someone’s done gone n’ drunk mah aig nog up again!” “George is entered in the chess tournament tomorrow—He’s practicing now!” Judge “You grab the goats and Pll. It’s a Gift VERY Christmas time it happens. Fight as I may against 4 their window deadfalls, I am always lured in and had by that devilishly ingenious duo, the Messrs. Abercrombie and Fitch, I spend hours in their handsome establishment, trying to look like a strong outdoor man who could gaff a marlin sin- glehanded, or fetch down a pheasant with a bean shooter at 50 paces. I come out babbling and bore my friends. Some day, perhaps on my 80th Christmas, I hope to be made an honorary V.P. of A & F—it seems little enough for them to do. Mean- time, little gift-seeker, smooth the furrows from that brow, get your pencil and think of those you love the best. For Fisnermen: A mighty fine rod and reel (about the size of a nail keg) with which to shag big game suckers off the Florida Keys. Such an outfit will set you back a mere $450, comicbooks.com