Judge, 1935-12 · page 10 of 41
Judge — December 1935 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis **Top Cartoon:** A man surrounded by scattered items (appearing to be gifts or valuables) is criticized for naively believing in Santa Claus—likely satirizing a gullible or foolish person, possibly a public figure or type. The caption suggests someone needs to "wise him up." **"Consolation Prize" Poem:** Satirizes mercenary attitudes in romance. A woman catalogs material gains from a failed relationship—diamond bracelets, sable coats, pearls, limousines—before revealing the real point: "at the parting of the ways, it sometimes is the man who pays." The satire mocks both gold-digging and the transactional nature of relationships. **"Lurking Shoe-Horns" Article:** A humorous invention pitch by Norman Sullivan proposing spring-loaded, cable-retracted shoe-horns mounted throughout homes like fishing reels. Sullivan describes discovering shoe-horns everywhere (laundry hampers, fraternity houses) and proposes an elaborate mechanical solution to a minor inconvenience—satirizing over-engineered "solutions" to everyday problems. **Bottom Cartoon:** Shows a man excitedly receiving dancing lessons by mail, captioned "Walter is learning to dance by mail!"—mocking mail-order instruction schemes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Someone ought to put him wise—He still believes in Santa Claus!” Consolation Prize OW that we've agreed to part a And I must mend my aching heart I find it easier than I thought For, tho it didn’t last, love brought Me many pleasant memories. \mong the lot I treasure these: \ diamond bracelet, sable coat, \ letter you forgot you wrote, \ string of pearls, a limousine— Oh, darling, what I really mean Is, at the parting of the ways, It sometimes is the man who pays. \ velvet hat that very day. am I, if it’s returned, he bonnet anyway. I' someone buys this verse I'll get KOM happy couples Who * ”* and “snooky” You'll pardon me play hooky Lurking Shoe-Horns By Norman Sullivan HE whole idea of this is that shoe-horns should be on ables, or cords, which feed into spring-winding drums like fishing reels. Then you could grab the shoe-horn, pull it out on its cable, get your shoes on, then let go of it and it would fly back against the drum. These little gadgets, by the way, could be mounted in various places about the house and held to the walls or articles of furniture with heavy steel bolts, lock washers and nuts. I fully realize Tam giving away a valuable patent idea in releasing this for print. But that’s what [ want—no glory or any encomium for myself, and any man who will promise to start mass production on my spring-cable shoe-horn re triever can have the id I have discovered shoe-horns in laundry hampers, moth . Whisk-broom-holders, old socks, folding cz tennis frames. Once, experimenting, I placed on my desk, and by nightfall it had crawled into Junior’s crib, The fraternity house practice of attaching a cowbell [have found too cumbersome, and the big fellow in the apartment across the court has told me he likes to sleep late mornings. A shoe-horn with a cowbell on it is, however, ideal for golf club locker rooms. Belling the horn has never really worked in domestic use. You all know the progress shoe-horns have made in the last ten years. In quick succession came the celluloid shoe-horn, the bone shoe-horn, the ivory shoe-horn. TI horns, and all with protective coloration he old, quite visible black-enameled shoe-horn must have burst with envy. These new models were impossible to sce across a $2.00 hotel room, which certainly testifies to their color-merging ee new shoe- —Evetyne Love Cooper. “Walter is learning to dance by mail!” 8 comicbooks.com