Judge — September 1935 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ur friends with the sa lr YOU are one of those intelligent adults who regard dullness as the supreme social crime you will welcome Judge with open arms. For Judge is more than America's oldest and best known humorous publica- tion. It is in step with the times—with a spring in its step. 18 East 48th Street Name New York, N.Y. Address A whole year of $12 City laughs for Defin ity ADICAL: A person who is con- vinced that something is wro: with a system under which some p ple can own yachts while he hasn't even got a pair of oars. Capitalist: A person who is con- vinced that something is wrong with a system under which some people who have never tried to do anything in their lives can sit around and eat regularly, while they criticize people who manage to acquire a little prop- erty after a life time of hard work. Demagogue: <A poor relative with a good speaking voice. Economist: A side show guess- your-weight merchant with a eollege degree. Diplomat: A gentleman whose efforts keep the world at peace—until a couple of nations really want to fight. <payer: A fellow who has ex- changed his place in the sun for one behind the eight ball. He sees the greatest show on earth because he can’t stay away from it, and has to pay scalper’s prices. The Complete Adventurer VER since my adolescent days my life has been a continual round of new scenes and new expe- riences. I have worn the enveloping parka of the ice-clad countries and have slept in igloos; I have wornsthe sun helmet of the tropics and have made my bed under the spreading palms. The strange sights of the frozen Northland—totem poles, kayaks, ice- bergs, the Aurora Borealis—have no more interest for my jaded palate. The exotic accompaniments of life in the Orient—Chinese junks, Budd- hist temple bells, pagodas, rickshaws —are old stuff. I have been lost, to all intents and purposes, in the midst of an Arctic waste, the wreck of my plane beside me like a broken bird. Again, I might have been seen to. stagger drunkenly along the trackless sands of the Sahara, dry-lipped and sun- scorched, leaving my faithful camel helpless with a broken leg. I used to attend the Cathedral of Notre Dame dail I was an habitué of Monte Carlo’s Casino. I've ridden elephants and shot tigers; I've hunted the polar bear and walrus. Once I was confined in a Siberian | prison; twice captured by the Dyak headhunters. The curious thing about it all is that I have never been more than twelve miles away from my. birth- place. You see, I was born in Los Angeles and have always been a Hollywood movie extra. comicbooks.com | | | | |