Judge — August 1935 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Were You Born under the =a of the Crab? ~ ~~ cue be it aie Ly do Incas \Soon meecuey Sun\m nove mt tume Lf Soon Ne, \ Btwaee oF | THt poo KEEP away PRom Bus T 1S @ well known fact among check up on this Horrorscope astrologers that the most un- to find out if you, too, are happy sign of the zodiac is the _afilicted with the ancient curse Crab. Don't lose a minute— of the cross crustacean. Do you think the world is going to the dogs? Do you bark at your wife in the morning? Evening? Do you throw books at your help? Saturdays, too? Do you get mad in traffic? Do you mistreat caddies when it's all your fault? Do your neighbors speak to you? Do you snarl at little children? Snap at stray dogs? Do you hiss the younger generation? Swear at the heat? The humidity? The rain? Would you like to get out from under this sign, and have some fun every month? If you would, just fill in the coupon and send it to us imme- diately. It is written in the Crab's Horrorscope that this monthly antidote will knock your grouch for a loop. poo - --- --- JUDGE, Enclosed find $1.50 18 East 48th Street Name New York, N.Y. Address A whole year $450 City laughs for. Li | Miistress Pepy: (Continued from page 6) which we certainly were by the time [ had thought of it. J 2.—Otsego bass for breakfast, very fine, and then lay pondering this and that whilst the baking machine was on my foot, finding it impossible to figure out how a fishmonger manages to bone a shad. muel in, with news of a betrothal which puzzles him as to what the contracting parties can see in each other, but I told him I did con- sider it an ideal match forasmuch as I could think of nobody else on earth who would wish to marry either of them. “Matches are made in Heaven,” T said, just to give Sam an opening, for which he made like a homing pigeon by con- fiding that he had thought most of them were made in Sweden. Greatly upset to read in the public prints that a man out in Colorado has collected over fif- teen thousand dollars from an unbroken chain letter, because that is the sum with which I was baited by wire when I was too il) even to think up five in- dividuals outside of doctors and nurses, and if I find out that I did pass up a real chance at such a fortune I shall | be inclined to quaff a beaker of hem- lock. But T have not heard from Cora Scovil, who victimized me with the tele- gram, that she has gleaned a large amount of money from the business, I do feel sure that she would be ur to resist telling me if she had. News, | too, of all the Hamlets which are to be in New York next season, and I did recall how Marie Doro and IT met John | Barrymore in the Plaza lobby on the ufternoon of the night he was to open | in that pla id when Marie congratu- lated him and wished him success, he quoth, “Well, it’s a good part.” T did also recall the chain-store millionairess | who, when told some of her acquaint- ances were going to town to see Tam- let,” responded, “ ‘Hamlet’? What a funny name for a play!” Great excite- ment in our host’s household this morn- ing over the discovery of the lost antique stools on which hundreds of dol- lars have been spent in cables, when all the time they were reposing in the cel- lar, having been mistaken for imported cheeses. Most of the day spent drearily in looking over bills and casting up ac- counts, and it is beyond my compre- hension that no matter what I buy or how frequently T pay, I do always seem to owe Bloomingdale’s thirty-two dol- lars. Expensive HERE’S nothing like spending your vacation at a big summer re- sort hotel. No, sir, there’s nothing like it, unless it’s being kidnaped and held for ransom. comicbooks.com