Judge — June 1935 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WILDCAT SAVES PARADE FROM LEGAL JAM The circuss that was here last week sure put one over on sheriff pug Sullivan. de come Hometown pug me of the law p t aloud in this city an s manager yeld back cireuss thru pug says I law th a be the arm of the also the legs and hed. Well ud back an forth an Personals and Society he would love for the gentleman that toc the axe by side of the road near his house to politely b: back, that it was his wife's property and she can’t cut the firewood till she gets it. says pe, we ain't got no sub: Gran Tiffy told_ that sale from New Yo “We're still a-clingin’ to the old-fashioned idea of not buryin’ folks till they're dead.” way’, Ez Nelson says he’s going to have the law on them slick swindlers at the carnival. Ez, who is six-foot-eight, paid a quarter to see the Giant, who is six-foot-seven, “I know what Siamese twins are up against because my wife nd I ate in a dinette all one 1,” Joe Sprigg said today. Joe Strakatt, who hates to give anybody ‘a raise has a sprained wrist this week from patting his clerks on the back. “And besides way to spell it,” said Mrs. Newt Thack while — spanking her youngster for what he wrote on the back fence. that’s not the “He'd figure out a way to fall downstairs in a tent,” said Shep Tatum, speaking of his cousin who's always in a jam. After a year of patient effort Madame Mag Smith, spiritual- istic medium, announees that her kitchen table can now do the Carioca, while th un the head clown ec the wildcat in th dead. Fine the mai solves the prot ysses. Whoa yelled pr make a start ile g ade so it'll stay _g d peer ades ain't aloud in Hometown I tell you. That's all right says the manager this ain't no pee- rade this is a funeral giddap. frunt cage is says »scribe to THE HOMETOWN TAB and Republican-Democrat Mfars. of The Very Bust Paper That Money Can Buy s since 1880 Our circulation is very splendid what there is of it W. Shakespeare Shows Promise As Playwright The Hometown Booth-to- Club played “Roi * last Friday night x01 house, There as to who wrote this say Shakespeare, Shep Ta a good way to settle this question would be to visit the graves of Shakespeare and Bacon. The one that turned over last Friday night was the one that wrote it. FOR SALE—Motor boat built especially for shallow water, As a matter of fact it can be operated any old place where the ground is a_ little moist. Phone Joe Moneyheffer at Main 24. is con. WANTED—Men to act as agents for new product. Com- bination chocolate syrup and tan shoe polish, White P.O, Box 65, Hometown. this peer- | Thack Transport- ation System in Phooey Condition Thack has had a lot of with wooden legs lately. The sap froze up old one last winter and square in two. next leg he got was wouldn't walk straight. Every time f started to the Post Office he wound up at Stan Jones Tavern. He be solid mahogany leg at, but his wife made n throw it away because idn't match the rest of furniture. Then Bud made a leg from the spoke of an old auto wheel but the leg balked | and refused to move every time he came to a stop sign. Finally he made him a leg from a peach tree limb, but had to junk it this when the leg began to His present leg isn't if the confounded wood- would let him alone. H's main trouble is laziness, hep Tatum. It's hard him to get a wooden leg that ain't geared faster than his good on! SPORTS “Don't be afraid to talk to me. st as plain and sim- ple as an old sh Buzz Dike told the r i that hog here blossom, so bad, boys, I'm j Thirty-eight } the recently establi hefier’s pipe. minutes rd Joo N ) -stop-up ed by r i} In This Space | THEADVERTISEMENT 1 of Newt Thack’s | BUM CARS AND | PHOOEY TIRES | \ would have appeared if Newt had not refused to pay his advertising bill. If Newt ex- pects free advertising this is the kind he'll get. \ | CRS Dre JOB WANTED—Girl who is ‘slow at shorthand would like position with boss who stutters. Vera Botts, Box 24, Hometown. 20 | here e | town Greco geemr nn THE WEATHER For Hometown and vicinity : Weather tomorrow Thursday, probably ‘slowed by Friday. z Sun tcnn ee aon ggHeENE SNE NTONES Probe Flops; Star | Witness Won't Talk The Tab Staff phoned Mrs. Buzz Dike last Friday to make inquiries about that new family which has just moved in next door to her “I don’t know one si bout them,” Mrs. Dike Capre | strictly to my ow and don't’ go prying things that After a thoug! added, “All stuff cam ful pause she I know is that their in a_ ratty-looking van, they're still usi: brass bedsteads, most of the furniture looks old, there's six in the fam- ily, the children are all boys, they have two dogs, the man is about twenty years younger tha the we they hada bi squabble with the driver of t! van when they settled with him and their nar ” Sorry! THE TAB wishes to apolo- gize for having said that “Mr. Joe Sprigg, after a short visit has returned to his 9. h, We hasten that “o. h.” means and not “one horse. shirt on, Mr Sprigg. BOOKS AND AUTHORS Professor clid Watts, whose “Looking Fifty Years Ahead” is a best seller, broke both legs today when he stum- bled over a cow. Chris Curd, the well-k local author, was measured a strait-jacket last Wednesda: “Writing the books wasn't his wife says, “bu thinking up something to say when he auto- graphed "em for friends finally got him.” ld home Keep your comicbooks.com