Judge — May 1935 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HIGH HAT (Continued from page 13) be extras. Clothes make the gentleman extra—about $7.50 a day. AN for Shirley Temple, the starlet, the cute little brat’s success has gone to the heads of all the mothers in Hollywood. No longer is a newborn babe registered with the State; it’s r istered with the Central Casting Offices. And the parents begin to look around for a place to retire to live the life they've never been accustomed to. It’s become a profession out here to marry at sixteen, have a child immediately, and retire, It’s hard on the kids, too. Should you catch the eye of one in pub- lic, it will immediately pull its stuff— either dance, sing or recite, in hopes you are a director. Children have grown incredibly sophisticated, The high schools in Hollywood are hot spots, too. Arithmetic periods are devoted to lecturing on the Evils of Night Life; while no girl of thirteen would think of appearing in history class without a complete makeup and false eyelashes. All girls look like Jean Harlow and all lads like Harvard foot- ball players. I can see nothing but a dismal future for California. As you may have heard, the weather is a chief concern of the Californians. To paraphrase an old expression, every- body out here talks about the weather but there’s nothing you can do about Californians, One of the chief items in landscape design around the Hollywood hills is the oil well. These meccano structures grace the mountain tops and sides. There’s nothing like looking at scenery thru a forest of these steel trees. It’s very much like looking at wild flowers be- tween the billboards along the roads. They tell me, though, you don’t feel so badly about them if someone suddenly comes along with the news that there's golden lubricant in your backyard. They say with the knowledge that it is pump- ing 8000 barrels a day, you don't mind the well they dig. You can always use the top of the pumping structure as a sort of informal penthouse. The kids can climb up and down the thing or you can use it to practise parachute jumping. Besides you can entwine the thing in ivy and get some cast iron Pigeons to nest in it. Everybody goes to Palm Springs thruout the winter. Palm Springs is about a hundred miles from Holl and is built on the itching palm sy of Palm Beach. In fact, it is a glorified Palm Beach; the only difference being that you've got to pay cash at the Springs and instead of ocean you have desert sand. It is easy to pick up a pretty good weekend tan for about $200. Only instead of getting away from everybody as you may have planned be- fore coming down, you run into every- body trying to get away from each other. And yet everybody is generous in a big way out in this Kleigland. You have only to say to someone that the sheriff repossessed your polo field, and immediately you will be sent a polo field by some big shot who has more than he can use, each other simple gifts like neckties, a riding crop, or a cocktail shaker as | presents. They give each other necktie factories, a stable of racing horses, or a distillery, The big thing about Hollywood is to have a double, or, as they term them, a stand-in. All the big stars have them. These glorified stooges are like the but- lers in the Peter Arno drawings. They preclude your being put to any effort whatever. They will eat, sleep, work and love for you. They'll even have your divorces; bathe; think; and die for you. It’s a great idea, a perfect way to live. you get the big money and they are satisfied with a mere pittance. Can you imagine Judge, Jr. with a stand-in— having his hangovers, keeping his kited checks flying high and getting up in the morning for him? For my stay out here I’ve taken a beach house near Malibu, the place where you lie on your back and look up at the stars. The houses are all hud- dled together for real estate purposes and you are given a pair of oars in case a tidal wave should suddenly come along and turn your house into a row- boat. HE real estate purposes are as fol- lows: Some gents, known as real- tors, decide to develop a certain sector of land. They lay some boulevards, import some palm, pepper and eucalyp- tus trees, tag it a fancy name and charge big prices. Thus you live in a beauti- fully named spot like Playa Del Rey, or Palos Verdes, and thru your oil well nported palms and peppers you can see the swellest mass of dull brown hills imaginable. These developments are sold with music—tenors stand around corners and sing songs about “Live in Wildwood where your dreams come true!” But there is one nice thing about Cal- ifornia—and that is should you drive into a gas station, a neat uniformed tendant dashes up, calls you “sir cleans your windshield inside and out, wipes off your car hood and would even take your wife off your hands if you requested him to. The reason is that all Gas Station Fellers are college bred, (Page 26, please) 23 People don't give | And the nice feature is that | MORE THAN A f OWN OR OPERATE THE BELL SYSTEM Tue Bell System furnishes anation-widetelephoneser- vice to a great and popu- lous country—a service used for 59,000,000 talks day. = Tt takes 275,000 trained people to build and oper- ate the switchboards, wires, cables, and other apparatus that make this service pos- sible. It has taken the sav- ings of 850,000 people to pay for the plant and equip- ment of the Bell System. Six hundred and seventy- five thousand own stock in the American Telephone and Telegraph Company and in many instances other Bell securities. Another 175,000 own Bell System bonds or stock in the oper- ating companies. — The Bell System is owned by the people, and it is run by wage-earning men and women. In doing a good job come recognition 6% and promotion. comicbooks.com