Judge — March 1935 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Old Sinclair Oil ONG, long ago when things looked [° etty dark, [ championed, in these Upton Sinclair fornia. Whether voters took my advice or not, I do ne know. I do know what happened. C: which by electing a nut, ul, preferred to elect normal person t main nutty. My point is this, however, I noticed that Mr. Sinclair, done by other the news—inc crusading columns, Governor of Cal forniz have gone nor have not to be out- notorious characters in ig wives of destroyed gangsters, criminal lawyers, pardoned murderesses and the ilk—has gone into Despite the criticism from various dignified sources, I believe this is the wisest thing he could have done. I have no idea what Mons. ir’s act consists of. I suppose he gives a short talk on old age pensions a m- panied by soft lights and Hearts and Flowers on a sobby violin; then a snappy Pat & Mike routine based on Capitalism vs. Socialism, gagged up with good labor jokes; followed by three cheers for California and then into his dance. But, whatever it is, it’s the thing to give the people. For up to the present moment, the trouble with all liberal movements in this country is that they have been so darn snooty. 3ut here is an honest-to-goodness radical in Democratic clothing actually inhat ig the vaudeville houses and making the bridge between the liberal’s mind and the mass body. Which is ter- ribly necessary. For if the liberal has shrunk from the workingman physically, the average workingman has probably never even heard of the liberal. I'm sure that the average millworker, subway guard, bus- driver and filling-station employee has never read the N. Masses or the Nation. In the first place he wouldn't understand their messianic rantings; in the second place, were he to try, they would bore him. After all, he would de- serve something more exciting after a hard day at his particular job. vaudeville. Sine’ sunshine ; JUDGE on roe BENCH I'm certain that eral doesn’t necessarily m it. The workingman and his problems it is intellectually smart to be on his side. I was saying, here comes Up- clair in va Furthermore. average | are his toy: deville, danci for . all intellectual pride swept is talking the people's »ple’s own house of entertainment. It may the people will their queer pals, and get to know their ideas. That more! be the way meet if people go to vaudeville any Heil, Morgan! ERSONALLY I don’t believe we'll ver go Fascist, but there seems to be an opinion around Wall Street that Fascism is the Next Step, followed by Chaos and then by Who Knows What? I do not hold this a well thought-out thought originating in the deep places of reason, but like all other goofy ideas, who knows that someday it won't be thrust on us? Such being a possibility, why not start looking around for a Dictator right now? Why wait for the dreaded last moment and find ourselves in the hands of a goose-stepping madman? Why not make a choice immediately and avoid the necessity for later inner- office murders, purges and scandal? All right—who then? The mind im- mediately falls on J. P. Morgan. How would he be for the job? I think, not bad. After all, he run a pretty suc- cessful banking business for a long time and but for a few slight mistakes in re- cent years, his ideas work beautifully. I'm sure had the business of the gov- ernment been run with the oil and finesse with which the House of Mor- gan operates, we'd probably not have fallen into economic chaos. Maybe we'd have paid no income tax but most of us would still have a yacht, a town-house and a few servants left. What of Henry Ford? Great! -I say. Certainly if J. P. Morgan offers in- spiration from above—encouraging the workingman to work, invest, and aim toward economic heaven, Lizzie’ 2 inspiration from below. started with the interest of tl mmon man at heart and he has devoted his life to forward that ideal automotively. Ie ¢ He has proved that it is possible to apply the principles of honesty, dollar- for-dollar service and bunklessness to life and grow great, rich ar He has a few hard and archaic ide but he loves peace, travel and the s ple American home. His economic f: ness and realism would go great. John D. Rockefeller, Sr another good choice. model of would be His lifelong a what happens to good little boys who sleep under the counter, is the stuff that'd be worth a hundred Hitler- isms. Under Dictator Rockefeller, we might spend a good deal more time in church but we'd also have a good de: more to spend. I don’t see how we could go wrong on Old Blue Glasses. Who wouldn't like to own a private golf course and a $150,000 a year press agent? I think that Frankie Frisch might be a pretty too, Frankie showed w determination could do even if applied in St. Louis. This coun- try, now in seventh place, might retain the world pennant were it inspired by Frankie Frischism, He'd have us in a nice uniform and in there swinging at the fast ones—and connecting ! Or, if you're an American League fan, what's wrong with Babe Ruth? What’s more, he’s out of a job! good choice, Just a Memory S ,ATOR BORAH, we understand prides himself on his memory and— according to one who knows him—a friend once asked him in a casual con- versation if he liked rhubarb, to which he replied: “Yes.” Borah and the friend did not see each other again for several months. When they next met they stood talking for several minutes. As they were about to separate, the friend said to Bora “By the way, Bill, how To which the Senator instantly re- plied: “Stewed ! comicbooks.com