Judge — February 1935 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge Mistress Pepys’ Journal By Baird Leonard ANUARY 1.—At some pains not to reach up and whack J my Katie this morning when she did bring me fish cakes as a special treat, forasmuch as I had as lief try to swallow so much cotton batting, but mindful of the start of a new year and my resolution to cultivate patience against the minor snags of existence, I did sweetly command her to bring a large bowl of the creamed horseradish sauce which she has lately learned to make, and after drowning them in this heavenly relish I was able to get away with two of the atrocities and thereby keep from offending K.’s kindly sensi- bilities. My husband, poor wretch, still down in Thomasville picking off quail, which worries me mighty much, for since he has taken to gunning, it seems that I do not pick up a short story or a mystery novel or a publick print in which there is not some account of an accident in the shooting field, and I do pray that he be returned safely to me and void of buckshot. . Lord! I should be overjoyed to have him about in in the morning with all his foolish questions, such as what has become of his shoehorn, and why are society women always pictured with cigarettes in their hands, and have I ever seen a butler with a pince-nez, etc. I should even be willing to have him creep in and sneak off with my pet manicure scissors, albeit when he does so I can never overcome the feeling that he is going to use them to open a tin can or make some repairs on his motor e: Boothby in with the sad news that she has had to have two buttons moved to loosen her caracul coat, so now the zany is going on a diet of potatoes doused with vinegar, having read somewhere that Lord Byron lost considerable weight on such a regime. I had thought to bury Marge long since because of her ridiculous indulgence in the fads and fancies of health quacks, but I have come to the conclusion that her stomach is made of sole leather, and that she will probably outlive both Sam and me. She is now off to Miami to have a fling at horse-racing, and when I admonished her not to lose the pink satin chemise I gave her for Christmas, she confided that there was no danger of such a calamity, as she intended to pick out the horses with the longest legs and place her wagers on them. In parting, she admonished me to save all our cham- pagne corks for her, as she is having a curtain made of them, whereupon I did tell her that she would have done better to ask us for the tops of acidophilos milk bottles, ine. Marge 6 A fee ae 2.—Most of this day gone in clearing away the signs of Christmas festivity, a dreary business, albeit I was delighted this season not to receive one dud present, for even Aunt Caroline sent us a handsome cheque instead of the set of encyclopedias or the fifth-rate oil paint- ing which she might so easily have thought. up. [ was mighty pleased with two Georgian warming dishes, a pair of peach satin blanket covers with my monogram appliqued on them in twelve-inch letters, some tray sets dripping with hemstitching, embroidered initials and Binche lace, and the marvelous hamper of imported wines which came as a sur- prise from one of my editors. Then there was the tea caddy which once belonged to the family of the Duke of Lancaster, sent us by Biff Haskins with the following card: This box contained in bygone years The makings of the cup that cheers, 3ut whose innocuous, gentle brew Has never yet inspired a stew. That’s why so many people think It flat and futile as a drink. But its contents will be anything but flat when my famous Hu-Kwa 3-X tea is mixed with boiling water... Old Mrs. Ormsbee to see me in mid-afternoon, and she told me of the man on the D. L. and W. train who was deep in a news- paper when the conductor bawled, “Change for Elizabeth!" whereupon the passenger looked up and quoth, “Well, I don’t know Elizabeth, but here’s a quarter for he This night to see “Post Road,” a brisk surprise comedy, with Lucile Watson very fine. comicbooks.com