Judge — January 1935 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge ZAR 193 Since I knew your late father y well, I'm taking the liberty of dropping you a short note of welcome into the world First of all you understand why you're here. You are the kid himself. You call the shots and in the year you tick off you will play ball with the destinies of billions of people. You have the ad- of a pretty consistent heritage. Altho some of your ancestors have been some silly: vapid, overserious and some cruel, for the most part they have all carried on towards gger and better things. I don’t want you to be a clockwatcher. Recently your family stock has been rather low. You know your great father jumped from a window in W reet and almost cut down your fam tree. But your grandfather, who wasn't expected to live, came thru with a bril- liant rally and produced your father, », tho he had his troubles, died with a smile on his lips and a cute little normal baby in his wak So much for your background. Now for your problems. Frankly, you've got your hands full. I can see a serious look coming into your eyes already and a slight wrinkle forming between your brows. Cut that out immediately. Spread a smile across those bow lips and let's se ples. Keep young and ha vant weak; some strong; those dim- yand maybe you'll not die a bored old man, full of theums and anxious for the peac the grave. Don't let the big business men, the dictators, the bullying labor- ites, the dishonest politicians get you Kiss all the pretty girls and don’t get married, Try to get the people’s minds towards the stars, After all, better a little exploring among the planets than slavin in the bank vaults! So run along now and get to your blocks and bicycles. Soon enough it'll be time to get down to hard work! Let the Japs Have "Em HERE is a seeping into our that Japan is usurping our position as No, 1 Industrial This in turn is being transferred to the nerves of the ! are ing yellow-peril ed again. Well, as I see it in my little crystal ball, there is nothing to worry about. In fact, I think we ought to do the neigh- borly thing by Japan in her heetie in- dustrial effort. We ought to help her along. We have, for instance, a lot of para- ernalia that would come in handy to feeling of uneasiness business mini ation, ic who bee mine heading for commercial wowhood and we could let it go cheap, I'm sure, There is in our inventory stock of tenn any nation for sale: ak: court-sized conference tables rotting away in empty discontinued directors’ rooms. We have several skyseraping office buildings we cannot hope to fill. We have too many tractor plan foundric many f munitio’ too many factories; too man We have an experience known as Pro- hibition they might like to buy and put into operation to help make a nation of inded busy little machine tend- We have efficiency engineers who are itching to get to sea again on their atistical charts. We have bond sell- ers, credit men and investment brokers. too perclip s makers. sober-n ers, We have a lovely large stock exchange 4 JUDGE on fully equipped with wives, mistresses and yachts in river basins, we'd sell cheap. We also have a bitter affair known as the depression, I imagine, tho, they wouldn't want that, since they seem to be pretty well equipped to make one of their own, alk, Talk, Talk O = of the reasons why we're liable to have a tough time of it in the next year or so is because we have not at present been overcome by any great national diversion. It is my contention that a tough crossword solving, a game of backgammon, a fiery session of ana- grams, a snappy scrimmage of ping- pong or even a set-to at mah-jongg, if taken at the height of the fad, will tide the mind over its most immediate and seemingly devastating problems. Nor does it have to be a game—it might be a great runner, an engaging flier, an enormous crank, a marvelous inventor or invention— as long as we are so in love with it, that like a swain, we have no time or thought for anything else The point is that it must engage the lustfulness of the player or devotee or adorer, At the moment I do not think we are involved in) such an amour, backgammon, anagrams, ping-pong and Dizzy Dean are more or less passé altho still indulged in. But we play them sans lust and blood and only t infrequently. Nothing remains now but tal Per- sonally, I see no good coming of our present tendency to streng muscles. ot that I object to talk as practised by Wilde, Bernard (Page 31, please) Yen our jaw comicbooks.com