Judge — May 1934 — page 17: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

N Judge HIGH HAT A Place in the Country MET an artist on the train to town tother day. He seemed as blu His trouble v wanted to move to the country as everybody else is doing but he couldn't find the place thats heart's desire. He 1 Westport . ’ ne of the place spected ramble their roses around the door w fine: as the tiger rag. as he ed in with his ad com see,” [ sympaticoed. you've in- enough or maybe the giddy striped awnings are too wild ‘ound Westport.” s not it,” he mooned. “Westport and environs are ized. T want to get away from it all. [ want to for you ty from the telephone; the gidaire; the ra I nt to go primitive in a big way.’ “y I wagged. “You have been reading the od Earth. You want to ¢ want to live the Life [ stubble.” “Not exactly,” he uncomfortabled. “I want to commute but just the same T want Nature.” “T see,” I sa “You want a house hidden—no—lost in house you'll have trouble finding nights coming home tired from New York, a house you'll have to cut your y to the station from with a machete mornings. You want the poison ivy twining round the door; the copper- heads twining around the table legs; the maple trees growing in your front parlor; the ants and frogs ne g with you in bed. You want all the inconveniences of Nature within commuting distance of New York.” His eyes were shining: “How did you guess breathed. I winked. “I know you artists. I cannot tell you where 9 back to Nature with a bump. You neval and cla’r th’ land o° rock ‘n the woods "he you can get all that beautiful discomfort this side of Mani- toba or the Dead Heart of Australia but I can offer you thing just as horrible. If not worse.” He clutched my hand feverishly. “Where?” he gulped. u'll save my life I said calmly: “I'l rent you Bellyacres. It is 33 1 from New York. You won't have to fight your way thru the forest primeval to get to the station mornings but you'll have to step on it to make the train, The road is full of bumps and 60 miles an hour'll just about make it, if you have artistic rising habits, oithermaw, Bellyacres is badly is built on the plan of the French Ship of St Tt leak badly. In fact, it leaks a little like Niagara and with a real big storm you can sit in front of your hearth and be soaked in the discomfort of your own home. Sleeping in wet beds with the rain dripping down and the wind whistling outside, I'll defy you to find a closer approximation of the sinking of the Titanic. As for the water system of Bellyacres, it is about 60 years old and a litle rheumatic in the joints. In the wintertime these joints freeze up and won't thaw till Spring. makes for a perfect arrangement. You live half the year h only half enough water and the rest of none at all. “Naturally, the heating arrange thoroly inadequate. The fireplaces are just what you'll want. They throw out the smoke and send the heat up the chimney. They only draw well in warm weather. In this respect they are something like the furnace. “There aren't any other especial features to appeal to you, except two sagging steps on the front stoop make it dan- gerous to igate on dark nights. You're li to fall into a broken leg or two. There is enough painting inside and out of the house to keep you in painter's colic till 1937 and enough repairing to keep you carpenter-poor for- ever. Carpenters only get about $6.60 a day now but the take twice as long. The rats of the neighborhood congregat in the walls nightly and play horse polo. They put on (Page 24, Pleas som in need of a roof. I nents of the house comicbooks.com