Judge — September 1933 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

30 p. m—The curtain has been advertised as rising promptly at this hour. Six members of the prospec- tive audience are in their seats. 8:35 p. m—Four more members of lience arrive. the prospective at 8:40 p. m—Seven more members of e arrive, the prospective auc 8345 p. m.—One hundred members of prospective audience around lobby and the k aisle. 8:46 p. m—An attaché of the theatre to the one hundred members calls ive audience hang of the prospect ng ound the lobby and the the curtain is about to go up. They pay ack aisle that no attention to SAS pr. age manager peeps through a hole in the curtain, observes le are in nly about seventeen pec . and says hell. m.—Ten of the one hundred the prospective audie! members ¢ nce who have been g around the lobby and the back a to their seats mosey leisurely down tto. down, the hree. more ¢ 1.—The hts ¢ tain rises and six more of the dittoes stumble over one making their way to their seats 9:00 p. m—Enter I What do y make of this, rington. Flaherty 2” 9:01 p. m—A member of the audi- ence seated near one pulls out a pocket flashlight to scrutinize his program in order to determine the important news as to the identity of th Flaherty, blinding one see for fully two minut 9:06 Pp. m- artist playing » that one can't “iiteen people leave off mble in and their lobby conversat upset everyone crawling into their seats 9:08 p. m.—Flaherty: “Them crooks sure was clever, Mr. Inspector!” 9:10 p. m—An usher comes down, ie ribs and inquires if ne wishes a program, one already hav- pokes one in th ing three. 9:12 p. m—*But after all, Flaherty, the fingerprints may merely mean that SAMPLE around here at some time or other. They don’t necessarily signify guilt.” 9:12 p. m.—"Mebbe so, Mr. Inspec- tor, but it all looks mighty percooliar to me, it does!” 9:14 p. im.—Seven late arrivals find t they should have gone down an innocent person was dallying th ne left instead of the right aisle, the walk- ing sticks of the men in the party poking one in the eye as they scramble up the aisle 9:15 p. m—Four pocket flashlights ir one’s neighborhood ¢ ain. me into action and blur the vision for the next three min- utes, ¢ 9:18 p. m—"But if your argument is correct, Flaherty, the chaise longue must have been moved there after the mur- der. 9:22 po m—A ntleman in Row H, who has imbibed too freely, audibly mutters uts 1", is companion in a hoarse whisper enjoining him to shut up and demanding of him whe thinks he to which, in a loud voice, the gentleman replies, “At one lousy he show! 9:22% p. m—The ctor who has the f Flaherty, feeling that his art has heen insulted, glowers at the audience. 9:25 p. m—Come in, all of you! The District Attorney wants to question you further. Answer briefly, clearly, and to the point!" 9:26 po m—"We will now go back to the night before the murder. Tell me, Miss Dreiser, at what time precisely did you leave Hilary Shuttleworth’s apartment? Think a moment be wer 1 ale 30 p. i.—The man seated two seats » one’s left feels the peremptory need of an excursion to the lavatory, stum- Iles over one on his way out and steps ono} shat which has fallen out of the rack under one’s chair. 9:35 p. m—He returns, piles over one and knocks off and breaks one’s specs. 9:38 p.m. z Here, Flaherty, behind this clock on the mantel is the missing 10 of George Jean Nathan ¢ PREMIERE bullet-hole you've been searching fo 9:38% po m—"Well, Ul be damne 9:381 p. m—Curtain to Act I and intermissi 93815 pon pom—9AS po m—“Do you think iv run?", “Well, anyway, that blonde maid ain't so bad-lookir “They say it’s backed by Metro-Gok wyn"; “Nothi ever pleases you; / thought ‘Mourning Becomes Electra’ was a piece of cheese. 9:49 p. m—Curtain rises. “R Are you mad? er! What are you doing here? Did anyone see you come p. m.—The couple seated behind one debate as to whether they should go the show, the lady hol¢ < out, for ten nutes, for Jack and Charlie's. 9:54 p. m—An usher comes dow demands a look at your seat check and reluctant tes that you are in the right seat. 9:58 p. m— Aha, Flaherty, take look at this! Did you ever see one ju%® like it before? No? Well, I'll tell you It’s the kind of dagger East) Indians use in their re’ gious ceremonies.” 10:00 p. m.—Someone behind one lets » a cyclonic sneeze that sprays the hack of one’s neck. 10:01 p. m—The sneeze is followed up with a f s of salivary coughs that one will catch the influenza and die by Thursday 10:08 p. m.—"Let me see, Mr, Inspec- tor, It was just three minutes pa midnight when I last saw Hilary Shut- tleworth. I remember distinctly, be cause | sai which promise one it was two minutes past and he said it was six minutes past 10:12 p. m—The man seated two seats to one’s left, who smashed one hat when he made for the Javatory at 9:30 and one’s specs when. he came back, now heads for it again, smashing one’s right big toe. 10:15 p. m—tTI decide to ca e couple behind one Mit a day and depart, noisily concluding that they'll go to Luigi's comicbooks.com