Judge, 1933-08 · page 6 of 36
Judge — August 1933 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains two satirical sections by Parke Cummings: **"Well-Informed"** is a humorous collection of absurd facts and regulations—mostly fabricated—designed to mock social pretension and arbitrary rules. Examples include unlikely statistics (rainfall measurements, income taxes from the 1920s) and ridiculous local ordinances (regulations against sucking soda through straws or parking near streets). The satire targets those who pride themselves on knowing obscure trivia. **"Simile"** presents brief comic vignettes comparing situations. The visible cartoon shows two figures huddled in what appears to be a cave or enclosed space, with one saying "Dey smell like lions, but I ain't sure. I got a cold." The humor derives from the absurd situation and character dialect typical of Depression-era comedy. The page mocks both pretentiousness and everyday mishaps.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Well-Informed By Parke Cummings OU can't read the papers too much. I see where the junior class of Wabash College voted 296 to 147 that a girl should not be expected to pay any of the expenses for a date nd a man in Towa found an empty gin bottle growing inside one of his pumpkins—and Jarvis Q. Jarvis didn’t pay any income tax in 1922—and Bugs Hooli of the Marmosets hit Umpire O’Cohen on the nose for calling a third strike on him,—: executed and skinned three shoats. That's not all, The rainfall in Lllewdellwedlllll, Wales, was 0047 of an inch above normal last April,—and a carpenter in South Bend, Indiana, divorced his wife because she put caraway seeds in mash potatoes—and a waitress in Fresno, C: é eats asbestos to keep her stomach cool in hot weather—and don’t run if you get bitten in the head by a snake; stand still so the poison won't get to your heart. The Balkans are in somewhat of a state of unrest—and in Whortleville, North Dakota, there’s a regulation against suck- ing soda through two straws at a time—and in Dongtown, R. L, there’s a regulation against chewing soap at the movies —and in Bilgewater, Texas, there’s a regulation against park- ing your car within fifty feet of a street—and Lord Chumly Chumly says short American girls are shorter than tall Eng- lish girls—and the third wife of Henry the Eighth has been found to have been passionately fond of sausage. The call of a giraffe is best simulated over the radio by rubbing two pieces of cotton batten briskly together—and ex- plorer Wagstaff says a lion can lick a tiger—and explorer Troo- gins says a tiger can lick a lion—and guess who says that a gorilla could lick them both—and a prominent Soviet scien- tist denies that the rainbow ends in a pot of gold Simile A HARD as the looks of two ptorists: after a near collision. Then there was the i Scotch boxer who | couldn't afford a sparring | partner, So he got mar- ried. And now we read that a lot of professional wrestlers are said to be deserting the mat in or- der to groan in radio mystery plays. The rich are getting poor, and the poor are getting used to it. Our idea of a total loss is a commercial by-prod- t uct that can't be made into either a breakfast food or wallboard. “Dey smell like lions, but I ain't sure. I got a cold.” 4+ comicbooks.com