Judge — May 1933 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge JUDGING os. ROUND this time of year when the robins sing and the banks start thawing their assets, comes the moment when irantic sports scribes dig down in ye olde memorie cheste and search for ideas. The old standby for years was: Could Sullivan in his prime whip the Dempsey of Toledo? Then a few years ago they started wondering just how Ruth would have made out against pitchers like Matthew- son and Nap Rucker. This year with a toss of the visor in the direction of lady cabinet members and female voters in general, some ambitious reporter put words in Miss Maureen Orcutt’s fair mouth that sounded suspiciously like fight. Miss Orcutt, who is perhaps better known as the strong chinned, golfing runner-up to Glenna Collett, claimed that she could play men on even terms, and the chorus of razzberries greet r lady’s announcement could be heard as far as the Bay of Fundy. Joyce Wethered was the female greatest ever but I doubt if she would stand up long under the strain of the day-by-day tourney pilgrimage indulged in by Messrs. Sarazen, Gray Wood, Hagen et al. No, Mau- reen, I know you can dish it out but as for taking it —nothing doing. The gap between the best women athletes and the best men in the same line is immeasurable. Whenever these arguments come up you can take it that the boys, t letters from angry customers just to fill up space. We all know that Babe Didrickson’s records wa wouldn’t cut any ice with the average high school track coach. (Whatever happened to the Babe by the way?) Helen Wills Moody is O. K. in mixed exhibitions as long as chivalry is rampant and her male opponent sticks to the base line. Years ago I saw Lenglen and Tilden batting the ball about in Paris. Suzanne got foxy and tried to slip a fast one over on Big Bill. Well, sir, Tilden opened up on the lady and aced her about a dozen times just to show her which side her racket was buttered on! Now if the girls would show some sense they could forget about comparing their Helene Madisons and Gertrude Ederles with men and pick out a few of their sex who really have ac- complished stunts which stand up alongside anything a mere male has dared to do. OR instance, the late Lillian Leitzel. Is there a man who, aiter having witnessed this dainty, elfin creature ascend to the top of the circus tent to start her arm tearing turns on the rope, hasn't thought that it represented absolute tops in daring, strength and nerve control? And how about the dance halls? Tucked away in some dime-a-dance-palace there must be a frail blonde who can take it on the insteps from 8 IP. M. to closing and still report smiling for work at the bargain basement next morn, How many heavyweight wrestlers could crash a lingerie sale at Gimbel’s and come out whole? Yet the fragile females do it for fun! It seems to me there must be one of them who is better at it than the others—let’s have her name, for here is a champ worthy of recognition, And if all else fails, the girls can console themselves that the men are getting a little too ambitious. Yearning for fresh fields to conquer they are step- ping out of their class. News filters through from England that the men, including his Highness the Prince of Wales, are starting to knit. After they think they are good let’s see how they stack up inst my Aunt Minnie. Minnie holds the Three Forks, Mich., standing and sitting, knitting records up to date. During the war she knitted 800 mufflers and 90 dozen pairs of socks (all left feet). So, let the Prince and these other masculine knitters go out and get a rep and I'll match them up with Au but 1 warn them all, when the chips are down Minnie is a knitting fool! —Rex Deane. ag