Judge, 1933-03 · page 6 of 40
Judge — March 1933 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Get Aboard, Boys!" - Judge Magazine Satire This page satirizes people attempting to extract energy as payment or settlement. The column reports absurd cases: a butcher offered fifty kilowatts for meat; a tenant demanded rent in "kilowatts of energy"; a vagrant sought compensation in energy units; a playboy broker tried selling energy-backed securities; a raffle winner claimed prizes in kilowatts. The cartoon below shows a man operating a bizarre "energy-extraction machine" labeled "UNIT A-X" while his wife protests: "Darling, don't disturb papa nose, he's digging a ditch." The satire mocks the obsession with converting *everything*—including physical labor and daily life—into measurable energy units, reflecting early 20th-century technocratic enthusiasm taken to ridiculous extremes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Judge i OBILE, ALA.—Louie Duncan Browne, 55, colored, was ar- rested here today on order of M. Katz, local butcher. Katz stated that Browne had offered fifty kilo- watts of energy as settlement for a twelve pound turkey and two strings of sausages, eaten last Thanksgiving. “One of us,” Ro) in rent on his Leon Zoch was “I paid last “Her my Eight-two kilow of my energy for six months’ rent, Get Aboard, Boys! ¥ Ushers at a Humanist Society meeting recently found this note on the collection plate: “My con- tribution—(1 have no money)—is twenty kilowatts of my energy in working for Humanism.” —Herald-Tribune. collectible on demand!” Further investigation revealed that the landlord’s wife had signed the re- ceipt, believing it to be the electric light bill. WASHINGTON, NEB.—Albert Sibbern- sen, a Danish vagrant, is institut- ing suit to recover six and one half kilowatts of energy from Farmer John Loomis, on the Omaha Turn- pike. Sibbernsen contracted, he avers, to saw half a cord of soft pine in exchange for dinner—esti- mating the job at about thirty-one kilowatts of energy. But Loomis, according to the plaintiff's story, ran in several sticks of hickory “Darling, don't disturb papa now, he’s digging a ditch.” 4 Los ANGELES, Technocracy's First Robin on him, thus exceeding the agreed allowance by six and a half kilos. CaL.—Jack Cregier, playboy broker of this city, barely made the border today in a close race with six customers. Cregier, they stated, had tried to deliver them personal notes payable in units of energy against certain securities which they had bought and paid for. Sheriff Teller finally arrested Cregier, although, he ob- served, “It’s probably too late now, as the poor son of a gun could hardly walk on account of fallen arches Suit will be filed. CLEVEL AND, O.—Harold J. Doty, of the big winner at Bridge & Euchre Party of the Paint Association last eve- ning at Bemis Hall. When the jolly gathering broke up and scores were totalled, Doty was in (1) $1.25, (2) ten cigars, and (3) Twelve thousand and sixty-nine kilowatts of energy, in notes, Pay- able on Demand. The fortunate winner plans to spend the spring pickerel fishing and riding around to supervise his extensive painting jobs, which will be done (needless to state) by the losers in last night’s little venture. Nice going, Harold! —STANLEY Ji comicbooks.com