Judge — February 1933 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

B’lieve It or Not eet, sir, I said to Mac, “if you insist on going to the Auto Show go on and go, and the salesman take you! + As for me, I’m going to the car barns and look over the new crosstown trolleys and the 1933 model Madison Avenue cars.” “Waiter,” Mac yelled! ‘Call my Hispano and bring Junior here a Side Car. We've come to a parting of the ways.” And with that he put on his hat and coat and walked out without so much as another glance at either me or the check. Anyway, I'm glad I went to the barns alone. Mac is such a sucker he’d buy a crosstown bus if it had a fancy radiator cap and a boop-a- doop horn. Also, I was able to get the following information which wouldn’t have been possible had Mac been there to gum up everything with a lot of foolish questions. In the first place, the Madison Avenue people have revolutionized the industry. They are putting out a new model, with silent brakes and round wheels, the conductors are go- ing to make change in coins larger than nickels and clang the bell only fifty times a minute instead of two hundred and eighty-three (the stand- ard rate at present). While the makers of the Lexing- ton Avenue trolleys ve not made any such radical changes as these, they are showing a slick little high- slung, two-door model, with frigid heat and shattered glass. Both doors, by the way, are automatic and slam shut in your face as soon as you reach for the step. The 85th Street crosstown open job is neat but not gaudy, and will be shown to the public as soon as the weather gets cold enough. Likewise, the 3rd Avenue people are holding up their one-door closed model until next summer. The 7th Avenue Sub- way is continuing its popular single seat model, but have stepped up the door speed and are using stronger guards, I do think, however, that the out- standing car of the show is the new 42nd Street crosstown speedster, and I'm sort of sorry Mac didn’t get to see it. This low, rakish job comes in two shades of green—olive and weather-beaten—and is guaranteed to do three blocks an hour. A triumph of engineering! speakeasy [ue ns. Sometimes the setting is changed a bit, but it is always the same yarn. Funny part about it is Over the Bar is a cycle in that the teller always has it happen to himself, or a good friend. Now they are telling the one about the good friend who was smuggling two fur coats in from Franc before the boat landed she acquaintance, with whom she had be- come pally en voyage, if she would mind wearing one of the coats ashore. The lady agreed, and when the good friend got through the cus- toms her pal was there waiting. “I'll take my coat now and thank you very much,” cooed the good friend The other woman gave her an icy stare and replied, “I'm sorry but | don’t know what you're talking about. There must be some mistake.” What could the g.f. do? If P squawked she'd be pinched for smuy- gling. So, smiling bitterly, she watched her mink drive off in a yel- low cab. Soup Sandwich ’m a sucker for miracles from now on. Some scientific mind has brought the soup sandwich out of the realm of humorous fantasy and put it hard in front of your eyes on the counters of reality. I don’t know how its creator thought it up but this is how it goes: Take two thin slices of bread, butter them, spread with let- JUNIORS NEW 1955 CROSSTOWN SPEEDSTER 2 2 comicbooks.com