Judge — November 1932 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Judge The Second Annual Fiduciary Folio And Autumnal Clip Sheet of The Guild of Hormer Pipe Organ Piunypers HREE RIVERS, MICH. Dear Fellow Pumper Standing four-square (maybe 4a little round-shouldered, but nevertheless four- ‘ your Guild, deriving its stimuli wherever it could, has been w ng away at things lately in the usual spectacular manner. ng its agenda around so everyone could shoulder in and see it, the construc- tive measures bearing the official advocacy stamp have been set in motion. In a broad humanitarian gesture, the Guild has com- pleted a much-needed revision of the admonition “Go To The Ant, Thou Sluggard,” by running out the ant and substituting a church mouse. This adjustment should come in mighty handy for those working on the mysteries of life during the ap- proaching cold spell. Further, the following items have been checked off the “Inactive” Spindle and transferred to the loading bins: (A) Establishment of a definite loan value on sovereign traditions, and priceless boons and heritages. (B) Bringing order out of chaos even if it is neces- sary to offer an extra 2 per cent discount as an induce- ment. (C) Insistence that the signatories to all inter- national treaties use blue carpenter’s chalk (the round kind). (D) Definite encouragement of the practice of set- ting a batch of buckwheat batter in a big black crock and letting the batch run all winter. heer a bad spavin, your Guild will con- tinue to take its customary long steps in the right direction. Assurance of success is given in the appointment of several new members to the Official Management Per- sonnel. Those recently inflated to positions of trust are: Carveth Wells, F.P., of New York City. Mr. Wells did his pumping in St. Michael’s & All-Angels’ Church in Barnes, Surrey, England. He stated in his application. “One of my duties in connection with my regular job was to examine certain of the organ pipes before each service to remove articles placed in them by mischievous choir boys. I remember once finding a swallow’s nest in one of the large pipes. It was full of baby swallows. I left it there.” Mr. Wells has been named the Guild’s Senior Pipe-Cleaner. Albert W. Harris, F. P., of Chicago, and George Bannerman Dealey, F. P., of Dallas, Texas. Mr. Harris and Mr. Dealey, when reprimanded by their re- spective organists for a lack of verve while pumping, retorted that they were the respective backbones of their re- Form 22) Flossie } ARRING the ever - ominous threat of a Charley Horse or * Pump, for the Wind is Fleeting” spective churches. Mr. Harris and Mr. Dealey hav been seated on the Guild's Modest Violet Bench. William Herman Stroh, F.P., of Forest Hills, L. | Mr. Stroh, laboring at the handle of the gelica Church of the Holy Cross in St. Louis, Mo., was re- lieved of his duties when copies of the Police Gazette were found in the church belfry. Mr. Stroh has been appointed Head Librarian, } oT all the years that have resulted in a fecund fis y unprecedented in the history of organ ions has your Guild been so efficiently manned to slash away at the second-growth vicissitudes that have sprung up lately. And the current news, from the Northwest Mounted Scrod District and elsewhere, continues steady to brisk. Rumors involving mergers of the Kittredge Belfry Brush Company and Carl Clancy’s Dedham (M Society For The Apprehension of Horse Thieves have been revived. The 57th, 58th and 63rd Annual Meeting, usually scheduled with the arrival of the nut-hatch as a har- binger of spring, now under consideration. $ also call for a redistribution of spring harbingers to insure a more satisfactory county break-down. Harry W. Glensor, F.P., of San Francisco, has started operating a Guild carpet-stretcher on the west coast. At the suggestion of Robert Ridgway, F.P., and Stanley Strongheart Jones, F.P., of New York City, a new trade slogan will be hung over the door of the Tie-Sheds: “Where Fashion Reigns Supreme.” A magnificent oil chromo labelled: “Quail Seeking Breakfast” the gift of Dr. Fred G. Eberhard, F. P., of South Whitley, Ind., has been tentatively accepted by the Committee On Loose Stops & Dust Removal. And the first prize for growing Gilly-Flowers (the Guild’s chosen bloom) and arranging them in a bowl, was won by Albert G. Craig, F.P., of Denver, Colo. O, as Ol’ Kenzie Green, head clerk at the Central House, used to say: “Yep! They come and they go. But there’s a full house all the time.” That’s just the way things stand with your Guild. It is unnecessary to reiterate that our Second Pulsating Piatiletka will be a Doozy, as previously predicted ex- clusively in these columns. The work of gathering recognition for our obsoles- cent profession swerves on. Be Ever Faithful and True. And let me hear any good wds. Yr. Obed’n't Serv'nt. (Sgd) CSihe eS Grand Diapason comicbooks.com