Judge — July 1932 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

uy DRG THE DEPRASION! Up and Down with Am at His Fall the Democrats and Re- publicans will be tearing away at each other’s adams apples for the ht to continue prohibition, in- se taxes and in general be the jors of America. Meanwhile a quiet little movement will have been under way, and when a certain word ending in “ski” is uttered, the wheels'Il whirr, things will go off and when the dust clears, it'll be Comrade Commissaire Machamer at the helm of these United Soviet States. Knowing about it, I interviewed the yood Comrade amony his old furniture on 54th Street, trying to set some line on what he expected to do when he took over the country after the Revo- lution. Here is the gist of what the great man had to say:— Q.: What will become of the High Hat under the Soviet? A.: They'll still be high, but shiny red. Q.: Will the speakeasy stay? A.: If revenue officers want to play ball with me. Q.: Will continue to A.: Certainly. is the speakeasies sh checks? What Revolution for? = INVITE JUDGE Q.: What about vodka, do think it will come into our life? A.: I'm. organizing the Vodka Parade to decide that. I intend also talking it over with a working- man, if I can find one. Q.: What will be the status of chorus girls under your régime? A.: Aside from allowing none of them to speak to Harry Richman, lll be as lenient as ever. On second thought, all Albertina Rasch Dancers will be sent to Finland. Q.: What will become Walker in Russian Amer A.: He will be a motorman on an Equitable Bus. Q.: Will the price of caviar be affected? A.: Barney G Commissioner, sa) no the next. Q.: Will you allow instalment pay- ing on the Five Year Plan? A.: Not to you! Q.: Will you insist on a diet of black bread, cabbages, cucumbe: sour cream borscht and balalaika? A.: I won't allow anything else to be served at Reuben’s. Q.: What about Rolls Royces, penthouses, Fifth Avenue, bathtubs, $1 bridge, the Union League Club, Piping Rock and ginger ale at a dollar not including cover charge? A.: A complete historical movie you of Jimmy viar and lant, my C yes one ¢ 1s will be made of them without Marion Davies and Clark Gable. Q.: Will crooners be able to work from behind beards? A.: If the beard is of sound proot thickness. Who’re you our cabinet? I want you to be Secretary of or, Comrade will be in charge of pr: thing else. I want you to to your office, too. I don’t want you butting into any of Lupe’s depart ments. She and I will be busy until 2 a.m. the fiscal year ‘round. sxoing to choose Pink Elephants of Dies 2 other day Austin Fairman nd I were swimming across <e Mamanasco up near “Belly "Austin s just dr after a bout with some pre- was feeling a bit shaky. Suddenly we were pretty mucn startled to see skimming toward us, a perky yellow snake. The thing swam right at us—and by, without giving us as much as the eye. As it flashed out of our lives. Austin looked at me and said que lously “Did see what I saw?” I said “Ye: nk God!” HEM FOR A RIDE THEN LOSE ALL SENSE GF DiREcTion! comicbooks.com