Judge — July 1932 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NOTES ON THE CONVENTIONS 3¥ QUENTIN REYNOLDS | three weeks Chicago was full of Delegates, Alternates and Headaches. There is as much dif- ference between a Delegate dan Alternate as there is between an egg and an egy plant. The Delegates sit about hotel lobbies smoking big cigars and drop- ping the ashes on their vests. The Alternates can’t afford cigars and they don’t wear vests. An alternate at a convention is as troublesome as a fifth ace in a poker TS very little future in being an Alter a jonally one of them even to accept the nomination for vice-president which that fate worse than death we have been reading about for so long. The real job of an Alternate is to keep the Delegates’ ylasses filled, and to start ovations. A good ovation starter is alw assured of two weeks’ employment every four years which in these days comes under the head of steady work. They allow Alternates to sit on committees which isn’t as much fun as it might be because as soon as an Alternate opens his mouth the committee sits on him. Most Alternates view the convention from a hotel room with bell boys getting spavined limbs and bowed tendons from rushing to and fro with ice water and ginger ale. One Alternate at the Republican Conven- tion boasted that he had been at ten Conventions and had yet to hear a speech. An Alternate doesn’t yet his picture in the paper and he doesn’t get paid but after all he only works two weeks évery four years, and, as Bill Klem once said “Can't you do your whistling in a speakeasy?” about umpiring, “You can’t beat the hours.” comicbooks.com