Judge — June 25, 1932 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNE 3.—All the morning gone in getting permanent wave from Joseph, my hairdresser, and when he had done, my urance soared mightily, till I did almost feel as though the statement graven on the front of our Post Office might apply to me, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor night stays these couri from the swift completion of their appointed rounds,” and had I been given three guesses as to who origi- nally made that pronouncement, I should never have thought of Herodotus. To luncheon at a publick famed for its French fried onions, and all alone, too, so that I might be holpen to them without scandal as often as I liked, and [ made way with a great platter of them, as well as with a grilled cutlet and a_rasp- berr ice. Thence home to my chaise-longue, albeit I should have been running round the reservoir in the Park, for Lord! if my current appetite do not soon abate, I shall be sitting before a side show tent selling my phote oh to an incredulous multitude. Reading in “The Sports- man on the Sofa,” one of the most outrageous bo that ever I read in my life, but merry enough in JUDGE Mastress Pepys’ Journal By Baird Leonard spots, and it is difficult to believe that its bawdy characters could have been drawn from life, albeit they tell me that there is a Continental set whose manners and morals match those of the citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah, and whose conversation is undoubt- edly worse. On one occasion in the story a decayed Duchess that she had not blushed so furiously since she did stop reading the Bible, and the protagonist himself vouch- safed that Hell hath no fury lik Frenchwoman who has got the worst of it financially. Marge Boothby for tea, lamenting that, for economy’s sake, she had essayed to fashion a garment with her own hands, but that when she found she had applied to its circular skirt of sheer mull seven rows of shirring upside down, she had marched straight-way to a couturier’s and laid in her entire summer wardrobe without asking the price of a single frock. Dinner at home with Samuel, and when he quite properly took knife to his heart of lettuce, he did commend himself for his valor. For it is the truth that Americans have become so knife-conscious through the jibes at their pioneers’ table manners that “Hey! Fix that shoulder strap or I'll run you in!” 8 they have become timorous of the implement even for its legi purposes. rly awake and at the rnals, appalled at the increased ion scheduled by a Congress which is too weak-livered to repeal the Eighteenth Amendment and thereby divert to the country’s use a revenue which does now enrich racketeers and promote crime, but Lord! what can you expect of a Senate whose members consider it humourous to bicker about which one of them has the floor, and which per- mits a burlesque budget to be read for an income of a million dollars a ye and in which a man like James Hamilton Lewis can provoke laugh- ter by inquiring, when it is proposed to tax hogs in the rural districts, what should be done about the asses in the cities, Nor do I any longer blame our Aunt Caroline for boast- ing that she h. atriotism, albeit when she adds curiosity to the list of abstractions which she prides herself in lacking, I am obliged to cross my fingers, forasmuch as the inconsistent crone does never behold me in a new piece of apparel with- out inquiring its price, from which I deduct one-third before replyin: lest she tear that Sam and I will throw into the gutter the fortune which she insinuates we shall inherit upon good behaviour. As Ring Lardner says in his introduction to Webbie’s book of Timid Soul car- toons, everybody is craven at heart except Earl Carroll. Up and did on my figured batiste, very + and so to my dressmakers for fitting of my Alencon costume, for, albeit I remember the ancient in “A Room with a View” whose armoire bore the legend, “Mistrust all enterpr' which require new clothes not attend the various weddings to which I am bidden this month with- out one or two sartorial acquisitions. To the ino for tea with Seth Plimpton, who has sold his soul to the advertising business for more money than most of hi: tistic con- temporaries are making at present, and he did tell me many of his ups and downs, one of them being the re- doing of a life-size picture because he had neglected to paint a ring on the wedding finger of a woman sur- rounded by little children who was doing a day’s wash in behalf of a certain laundry soap. Dinner alone on a tray, Samuel being delayed, and so to bed to finish “Dagger in the Dark” before turning out my light. comicbooks.com