Judge — June 18, 1932 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

High Hat (Continued from page 23) thought well of this advice. So off he went for two weeks in New York. After this time had swept by back he went to his house, his family arriving at the same time. With much apprehe for anything—he walked into his yrounds and looked things over. Oddly everything was in order, the cars and strange cht gone, the house in perfect order, Only in the kitchen there was a case of Scotch and a thousand dollar bill! ion—ready The Limousine Inane OROTHY Locke, who is Suthin’ and chahmin,’ writes to ask me if I know how to play bridge in an auto while traveling. I didn’t but I now do. It seems every time you come to a bridge you take a drink. The Holiday Inane VERYDAY is Mother’s Day and every Saturday is Father's I and why not get around to Step- father’s Day? They could make it on April First and move that date up a little. Anyway it ought to be und poison ivy season so everybody could send Stepfather a nice wreath. A Midweekender s is pure libel but I’m going to T print it to show what a martyr I am. Thru some mistake in judgment of character I invited a friend quotes) out for a midweek visit to the country. He reports he had a y good time indeed—watching I did in pr ation for the victims who were coming to spend the following weekend. He noted the ions I performed for the s inconvenience onnecting the water. I de- liberately dug up the water system and cunningly punctured a pipe so that the water would flow poorly. ching the towels. Filling the bathtub with surprises. Sanding the beds and removing all but one so be ill collapse ctly after late retiring. Stuffing the closets. I filled all clos in guest rooms with wall- paper, bedding (which should have been on the bed), old magazines and everything in the attic not nailed down. Thus nothing could be hung. Emptying the icebox, of the food situation. Removing the screens, for ea trance of coleoptera, lepidoter: ant armies. i down from the roof for ing in the guest rooms. Burying the beer. This I put in the hottest part of the lawn, where taking care the sun would hit it and flaccid its taste best. These good little deeds I rounded off with throwing away all available | soap, removing gut from tennis rackets, crunching ping-pong balls and training poison ivy around the porch furniture. Down Home Note ERE is a bucolic little pastille which I hope points a moral. It is supposed to show the effect of too much country on character. An artist friend of mine moved up into the foothills of the Berkshires, settling in a reconditioned barn. He was working y one day when he suddenly looked up and there stood a native, who had obviously entered without knocking. “I'm a neighbor o’ yourn. Dingee,” said the fellow, very dingee indeed. “Glad to know you,” said the artist and ing the conversation was practically at an end, went back to his drawing. A few hours later the looked up and there stood just standing. He hadn't moved. Breaking the wintry silence, the artist said, you happen to know anyone who can wallpaper? I'm thinking of wallpapering the house!” “Yep!” — loqu cioused Dingee. “Who?” said the a any words. “Me!” came back Dingee. So Dingee did the wallpaperin: While at it, the artist said, “Dingee, I'd like a skylight cut thru that roof. Do you know anyone who can do it? “Yep!” said Dingee. “Who?’ i our Rapligel: “Me!” said Dingee. So Dingee did the skylight. Then, it transpiring he could do everything, he did the plumbing, the wiring, the heating, the garden, the car tinker- ing, and he even could cook a little. After a while it became somewhat difficult to live with Dingee. Too much of an egotist. The plan was to find something he couldn't do, and fire him, before he had a desk put into the house and operated as a big executive k-of-all-trades. It came about t the artist was painting his name on a letterbox and there stood Dingee, just watching. “Aha!” said the arti he had Dingee, painter, too?” Yep!” said Dingee. ‘In a pinch!” They still have Dingee around. ; —JuDGE JR. api Name's | looking artist Dingee, “So you're a sign- Good Hosts need Abbott's Bitters! 50c bottle 25c. Write Dept. J1 P.O. No. 44, Baltimore, Md.-Advt. 3 LEG-o-MATIC BRIDGE SETS table All and close with GID. SIMPI BEAUTIFUL, coneatne wera whe Co, Sst ‘Fount Ave. WEW YORK, W. Moth rsills STOPS TRAVEL.NAUSEA ON YOUR VACATION TRIPS feeling sure | CROSS WORDS and the two JUDGE'S 3rd CROSS WORD PUZZLE BOOK has a laugh in every e Order your copy now at $1.50 from JUDGE MAGAZINE, INC 18 E. 48th St solution! St., New York City DETROIT'S FINEST UPTOWN HOTEL + + is near the General Motors, Fisher and New Center Buildings, also automobile plants. A courteous thoughtful stoff. Excellent Cuisine. Luxurious rooms ot $3.00 per day THE Abing ton at 700 SEWARD comicbooks.com