Judge — June 4, 1932 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

How it Happened HERE was no violence in my heart when I walked into the court- room. My only feeling was curiosity. I'd heard the woman on trial for killing her husband was a stunner. I wanted to see how she'd act when she took the stand. “Judge,” she said, “It was like this: We'd just bought a weekend cottage in the mountains. I asked my husband what he thought we should name it. You know, judge. something clever to put over the gate. Well, my husband said we should call the cottage ‘Dew Drop Inn.’ I pulled a pe: handled pistol out of my purse and shot him.” “Pll get you off, my boy, if it costs me your last cent!” JUDGE 1s Mother's Day “He deserved that,” said the judge “Now, a much better name for a weekend cottage would be ‘Cozy Cot tage’ or ‘Bide-a-Wee’ ... The woman fainted and the bailiff calmly drew his revolver and shot the judge. “I couldn't help doing that.” sighed the bailiff. “Old bromides like that... ! Say, why can’t people sive weekend cottages names that really are clever? Something like amp Komfort’ " I didn’t have a gun, but I grabbed r and knocked him unconscious. The poor, dumb sap!" I raged to the clerk, who took me into custody. “Just as bad as the others! Now, if I had a weekend cottage I'd call it ‘Villa You-Come-Inn’ or ‘Happy Haven’... ” Something hit me just then, and that’s all I remember. -CHET JOHNSON. Not to Mention Mesh Hose HE advertising men today Sell everything from clover hay To stocks and bonds that really pay With women’s legs. They illustrate lumbago cures, House paint and Caribbean to With shapely, sightly, — silk-clad lures— Women’s legs. If you would sell ang xoats, Tomato soup or polo coats, Or lozenges for people’s throats, Or brewery kegs— Be sure your merchandising plan Is sound. Your advertising man Above all, must be one who can— Draw women’s legs. —H. L. BRownine. comicbooks.com