Judge, 1932-06-04 · page 12 of 36
Judge — June 4, 1932 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "Letters of a Self-Made Athlete" - Judge Magazine This humorous letter-column entry satirizes brash, unscrupulous young men trying to make it in the entertainment world. The writer, "Bull," recounts absurd misadventures involving an alligator he lost gambling in Tijuana, then retrieves in comically chaotic fashion—smuggling it across the border, causing mayhem in a Mexican jail when the animal's spicy food causes digestive distress, and bribing officials. The satire targets several things: the writer's arrogance and entitlement (complaining his father didn't send enough money), his casual law-breaking, and his delusions of Hollywood stardom. The accompanying cartoons—showing a chaotic doctor's office and what appears to be a baby carriage mishap—reinforce the theme of reckless incompetence. The humor relies on the reader finding such irresponsible behavior and absurd situations ridiculous, mocking both petty crooks and aspiring showbiz figures of the era.
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Letters of a Self-Made Athlete D™ Pop: I got the dough you wired but what's the idea of chiselliny me? When I ask for fifty bucks I don't mean thirty-five, catch on? That 2 fifteen meant a lot to me so is a guy to do if his old man s him the chill? s I was telling you in my last, I lost Percy, the alligator, to the Chief of Police at Tia Juana in a stud game. Well, this Mex can't savvy English and so he isn’t wise to what a bargain he got at all. We drove over to Sa xot Percy bright and early next morning. Gosh! how that ‘gator was glad to see me. He churned up so much muddy water in his tanks he nearly panicked the lions in the cage next door. The Mex looked a bit scared, but he stuck to it and so I trussed Percy up with clothes line and we stuck him in the rumble seat and headed for Tia Juana. His tail stuck out of the k about ¢ ‘dso I got one of those red flag dinguses like trucks have and tied it onto his flipper for luck. We gets to the border and the Customs guys almost ha fit. They search us for Corn Borer, Japanese Beetle, etc., but they don’t figure on Alligator! One of the guys stuck his hand in the rumble seat and gives a yell, “Get outta here and don’t come back!” I am telling you we were a riot JUDGE Doctor You'll have to take it easy, C. Je -those Rotary Club luncheons are beginning to show on you! back in Tia Juana. This Mex drags Percy into the biggest bar in town and ordered drinks for the house. When they got their nerve and came back from under the tables everyone seemed to enjoy it. He gave Percy a big bowl of chile and say, did that poor sucker start getting the jitters! It nearly blew his head off and we had to give him a pail of beer to wash it down with. Came the night, as they say in the “They've been cutting this stuff again!” 10 movies out here, and Percy and me is all for hitting the hay. The Chief of Police takes us back te the Hoose- gow or Bastile they call it here and beds us down in a couple of cells which don’t look too clean. And what a night that turned out to be! Every time they’d lead in a drunk he’d give a peep at Percy and yell “Take me away, I'm seein’ thing: In no time at all we had a fair riot on our hands, and all the gen- darmes is running around with tea nd guns looking for trouble. , things got so bad the Chief s around and asks me how much ake to get out of town and take y with me. I tells the inter- preter a hundred smacks ... the Chief comes back with twenty five and we compromised on fifty. They tried to stop me at the border, but one look at Percy (who was alongside me in the driver's seat) and they opens the gates wide. They were mighty glad to see us back at the Show; business had fal- len way off and maybe Percy wasn't glad to get home again. I figure on sticking with the outfit till we hit Hollywood and then I'll make a break. Don’t start worryiny me to pay you back that thirty-five. you only done your duty and not much of that if you ask me. I'll write you from Filmland and maybe I'll be telling Clark Gable tc move over and give me room. Yours, BULL. comicbooks.com