Judge, 1932-05-07 · page 9 of 36
Judge — May 7, 1932 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains satirical poetry and social commentary typical of Judge magazine's humor: **"The Stalwarts"** mocks Kansas's prohibition stance and Carrie Nation (the temperance activist famous for smashing saloons). The poem ironically praises Kansas's "stalwart" resistance to alcohol while noting Kansans secretly make illegal "choccy" (chocolate liquor) and "jake" (Jamaica ginger extract used to evade prohibition laws). The humor lies in the hypocrisy: publicly righteous, privately drinking. **The large cartoon** (right side) depicts a car crash on Pine Street involving what appears to be a "Patrol Car" and a "Bread Wagon," with text referencing "Attention! Patrol Car 33 to Precinct and Investigate Accident!" This satirizes either police incompetence or the absurdity of bureaucratic accident procedures. **Additional sections** include brief humorous observations on post offices, theaters, Hollywood, and business culture—standard Judge fare offering light social satire on contemporary American institutions and behaviors. The overall tone is lighthearted mockery of hypocrisy, inefficiency, and modern absurdities.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE The Stalwarts stalwart sons of Kansas—how sturdily they tand the Demon Alcohol their righteous fathers wart Kansas blood < es a stalwart Kansas At the thought of ‘city likker’ staining stalwart Kansas soil! The stalwart corn of Kansas grows grandly from her sod; The haughty Kansas silo is the proudest work of God And Carrie Nation's banner not a Kansan will forsal While the silo makes his ‘choccy’ and Jamaica makes his ‘jake. —JOUN HUME. Suggestion The post office department is trying to keep its ap- propriation from being diverted into other government projects. And while they're at it, we wish they'd see about keeping their mail trucks out of other people’s fenders. In the theatres a rising platform suddenly brings a crowd of musicians up out of nowhere. And right now a lot of managers wish they could do the same thing with an audience. “She doeswt know T put her cod-liver oil Well, the Democrats are all set to bring back pros- in her cocktail.” J n, if only they can raise enough money to andidate into office. balancing, rding and hiding, Winter and spring getting ixed and colliding. Suicides popping ST. In every direction, \ll of the world with a Spotty complexion. liow can I be so Unfeeling a sinner, Still to be happy, @ Ready for dinner — MARGARET FISHBACK. iness Traini NCHING the time clock. Skipping the lunch hour. Juggling the accounts. Swinging the big deal. —R. C. O. In Hollywood circles it's consid- ed unlucky to favor three ciga- ttes with one indorsement. Nowadays about the only thing ou can’t pay for on the instalment plan is one of the instalments. And Simple Celia thinks panhan- dlers are people who work in hard- ware stores. comicbooks.com