Judge — April 30, 1932 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE Everything Changes I remember, I remember The house where | was born, It was a fine old country place, With smooth and spacious lawn: We've put a hot dog stand there since, The highway is concrete, And our old maple has a sign That reads: “Stop Here and Eat.” I remember, I remember The house that we called home, It is a lodging place these days For motorists who roam; A sign reads: “Tourists taken in, One buck a night a head;” It's been nigh onto twenty years Since I've slept in my bed —R. C. O'BRIEN Seasonal ANP if we ever have any leisure moments we're going to sit down and design a set of slip-cove for men's golf suits Give some motorists an inch and they'll take a fender. Deaf Mute—Alsk her if she's got a sister? Advice to Professionals (Who haven't asked for it T°: The Hairdresser. Adopt the following as your Four Commandments: Haircut, Shampoo, Wave, and Manicure Fight to the death for them, with every customer. Remember that no woman has enough confidence in her looks to dispute you indefinitely, Keep an air of aloof superiority about you. Women have no respect whatsoever for professionals with manners or politeness. Never make the mistake of asking them what they want—Tell Them. If a customer says, “My hair is too dry for soap,” counter instantly with, “Our Special Hot Oil Rub is the answer.” If she “My hair is too oily for any Oil Shampoo,” you've still got her lashed to the mast with, “Our Soapless Shampoo was_ per- fected for you alone, madam.” Develop the Rinse. It is still in its infancy as a pelf-producer. Don't let it stop with Lemon, Vinegar, Vegetable, and Henna. A _ little thought will suggest some such novel- ties as “Sumac” or “Avocado.” Instruct your apprentices to trim off just enough of each permanent wave so that it will founder within a fortnight and require a new one This is important, because a lot of women has the idea that a perma- nent wave actually is permanent —STANLEY JON comicbooks.com