Judge, 1932-04-09 · page 9 of 36
Judge — April 9, 1932 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Analysis: "Letters of a Self-Made Athlete" This satirical piece mocks minor-league baseball aspirants during spring training, likely in Florida. The writer, "Leftie" Perkins, is a delusional young pitcher who confuses his own mediocrity with importance. The humor centers on his inflated ego: Colonel Ruppert (owner of the Yankees) supposedly came to sign *him*, not Babe Ruth. Yet Perkins allowed eight runs in an inning-long appearance. His casual ownership of an alligator (which he "wrestled") and references to eccentric teammates—including "Izzy Stein" playing for the House of David (a real barnstorming team known for Orthodox Jewish players)—highlight the absurdity of minor-league baseball culture. The cartoons show domestic chaos: a man thrown from a horse, and a chaotic home scene. These illustrate the disruption caused by bringing an alligator into lodgings—emphasizing Perkins's poor judgment and the general zaniness he represents.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Letters of a Self-Made Athlete EAR Pop, I guess you read about me in the papers already, huh? I mean how Colonel Ruppert came down here per- sonal to sign me up. Of course I know a lot of them wise-cracking newspaper guys had something about him being here to sign up Ruth. But why should he come all this way for that? But with me it’s different, so here I am lobbing that old fast one over the plate and just biding my time until they make me a good offer. We had an inter-club game yesterday and I pitched a couple of innings; all they got off me was eight runs. Not bad eh?) And wha more the same guy got three of them. You see he came up twice in the first on ac- count of me walking a few guys. Can't expect a fella to do much with the old soupbone stone cold. You can't believe all you hear about this Florida sunshine. Remember that alligator I told you about? Well the guy that owns him came over in a Ford truck last night and gave him to me. Seems he aint been no use since I wrassled with him; he must be pining for me or something. Well, I took him but gosh what can a guy do with an alli- gator for a pet? The rest of the bunch here named him Percy and I tried smuggling him into my room but the night clerk said nix. One of the Yankee catchers “Good gosh! This is my own home!” Spring again!” said that I am a full fledged left hander alright. He made some fur- ther cracks about them all being nuts. I didn’t like it a bit but didn’t see no use to start anything. It seems there used to be a leftie who kept white mice under his bed, but so far a gator is tops. I reckon that makes me a big leaguer alright eh? Had the laugh of my life yesterday. Remember Izzy Stein who played at Loyola Tech with me? Well T ran into him on the street here looking for all the world like some Swami or something. Turns out he is play- ing for the House of David nine. Honest, I didn’t recognise him be- hind the muff. He tells me he travels around in a caravan and what he saves in haircuts and travelling expenses is nobodies’ business. It might be a good racket at that. I'll let you know later what kind of a deal they give me when I sign up. Your son “Leftie” Perkins. comicbooks.com