Judge — April 9, 1932 — page 33: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A od SSS | (eel MILK AN APRIL WEEK-END ON THE AQUITAIIA TO BERMUDA tT started when I opened the door | my apartment and gazed at the seedy individual who had knocked. | “T represent the Consolidated Milk | Company,” he said. “Can we serve you with fresh milk and cream?” .”” TL replied hastil: It’s good milk.” he said. Il right,” I surrendered, “leave | pint of A milk and a pint of light cream every day. The man wrote down the order, nodding. He turned to go, then paused. “Our man,” he whispered | apologet “collects every Mon- | ay morning. | ona Thu . I forgot about the matter instantly but the next morning on my way out to breakfast I stumbled over a quart of B milk and a pint of heavy cream. 3y nightfall I polished off the last of | them and left a note in one of the | empty bottles. One pint A milk, half | © pint of light cream, it read. The | empty bottles and the note greeted me the next morning. The following morning, in spite of a new and more emphatic note, the empty bottles had been replaced by two pints of heavy cream. Monday morning I found a pint of A milk and a quart of light cream outside | my door and I waited impatiently for the collector who, with nice deli- let the first Monday yo by and failed to call. Tuesday brought me a quart of B milk and a pint of whipping cream. Wednesday produced a pint of A milk and half a pound of cottage cheese. Thursday greeted me with a pint of light m and quart of buttermilk. Friday, after finding nothing outside my door (the janitor had thrown the empty bot- tles down the incinerator), I wrote the milkman an ultimatum :—“If the | service cannot be reqular, kindly dis- | continue ite’ I was rewarded, Saturday, by a pint of A milk and half a pint of light cream. Sunday morning things went hay ain and I spent most | of the drinking two quarts of milk, with strangling noises. I de- cided to talk to the milkman per- sonally. I would tell him things. At three o’clock my alarm awakened me and I sat up listening for the clink of milk bottles. Four o'clock came, then five, but the milkman didn’t. At six I decided he wasn't | coming, and went back to bed, curs- | ing. At seven he left a quart of A| milk and a dozen eg 5 | I had my trunk packed and half- | way down the fire escape before the | collector came that morning, and | never went back. I was afraid I'd weaken again. —G. W. APRIL : : TAURUS ... A fanciful Bull, fighting red hibiscus blossoms in Bermuda. APRIL 22 What are those four-day gaps which so regularly appear on the cluttered engagement books of the socially sought? They‘re the Cunard week-end cruises! Again they are sailing away . . . where April showers only flowers and golden sunshine . . . where flying fish spangle Gulf Stream waves. To those who appreciate subtle refinements the AQUITANIA is familiar and faultless. Would you exert yourself in merry sport, dance or swim, play games? Or would you merely bask in the warm sun, dine delectably, and sleep soundly until noon? You will find it all... and so much more ...0n this Cunard week-end cruise. Reservations are strictly limited, rates extremely low. Let April begin the benefi- cent habit . . . a sea-going week-end once a month... under Cunard operation and management. Sail on the AQUITANIA to Bermuda! No passports required Book thru your Local Agent. No one can serve you better. Sailing April 22, (Friday, 11 P.M.) Return April 26, (Tuesday morning) $50 uP CUNARD CHASE THE BLUES WITH CROSS WORDS! An idle evening and a Judge Cross Word Puzzle Book will do the trick. Send for your copy now. The third one is hot off the press and hot. Only $1.10 including postage. JUDGE MAGAZINE, IN 18 East 48th Street New York City