Judge — April 9, 1932 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

With Suitable Ceremonies HE confusion which has marked the beginning of Daylight Saving Time each Spring is to be keyed up to a high pitch this year. In recent s, there has been a distinct—and quite deplorable—tendency on the part of the Public to ob- serve the advent of Daylight Saving with rather more than less calm. Instead of getting worked up and irritable about it, the people have merely yawned over Daylight Saving and its attendant miseries, and as a result one of the best sources of confusion ever devised has been neglected. This year, however, the situation is to be corrected. Schemes are afoot to make Sunday, April 30, when Daylight Saving begins, a day long to be remembered with a shudder, The committee on arrangements ve been working night and day in more or less confusion, and this is held to be a good omen. They have already arranged for these features of the day’s program: Suitable ceremonies will be held in prominent places all over the city. In various public squares and on the steps of the Library, men and women, all armed with alarm clocks, will gather. Prominent speakers will furnish the entertainment at these gatherings, debating the subject, “Should the clock be turned for- ward or backward?” Pretty soon the throngs will join in the argument, and, in the excitement, will start fooling around with their alarm clocks, all of which will start ringing. At a timely moment, just when the alarm clocks yout to run down and the clamor is otherwise be- vinning to abate, an appointed leader will suggest that the best way to settle the question is to put it up to the Mayor personally. This proposal will meet with hearty popular approval, and all will start helter skelter in search of the Mayor. This is pretty sure to keep them busy all day long. THER ceremonies will be held in the various railroad stations. At these points, participants will be or- sanized into two groups: One, people who have missed trains because the railroads changed their train sched- ules to conform to Daylight Saving time, and the other, people who have an hour to wait for trains because the railroads did not change their schedules to conform to Daylight Saving Time. At a prearranged signal, these sxroups—numbering in the thousands—will rush the Information booths from opposite sides. Some will be laughing, some weeping, but all will be giving tongue to the common cry, “When do we get a train?” The two groups will mill around in confusion and will get nicely mixed up. Children will be detached from their parents; husbands will lose their wives, and vice w there will be many arguments; there will be demands to “Quit shoving, you!” and replies, “Who's shoving? und there will probably be a few fights. Special ceremonies will also mark the day in the churches. Here, selected groups of absent-minded looking men and women will file into their pews during the benediction, and thinking that it is the opening ver, will be greatly surprised and confused when their neighbors all get up and walk out after the “Amen.” To prepare them for their roles, those si lected are being coached at night sessions in looking absent-minded and startled. They are working at it like beavers. JOUN C. EMERY. JUDGE AMATEUR: comicbooks.com