Judge — March 26, 1932 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “Fe’s celebrating because he just gota job.” The Airport of the Future [eemporanity abandoning its defla- tionary investigations, in the face of the threaten Money Glut Emer- the International No-Got Association takes this occasion to an- nounce the inaugural of its first Larg! Seale Engincering Schedule. This schedule, sired by the Better ment Department founded by Oliver P. Betterment, provides for the con- struction of ramifications, Technically designated as the Inter- national No-Got Association's Combi- nation Airport & Carillon Shed. the development, it is anticipated, will be unparalleled in the history of aircraft. It will also serve as a warning to other promoters in the carillon field to t their ideas unparalleled and ready for bed. The airport,” explained Pres, Bet- terment, “will be equipped with super- ficial, or false, landing surface. This will be directly connected, by ducts. with a central inflation plant. As soon 1s a ship in distress is sighted the false field will be rapidly inflated up to meet it. The descent of the ship will then be quite gradual, contrasting strongly with the cruder types of de- scent common to the types of airports. “On landing. the occupants of the gencies an airport with unique less advanced ship automatically become members of the association, with full privileges of assumpsit. They will be conducted through a series of underground pas- sages and grottocs to the sub-cellar of the carillon shed, There they will face a display rack filled with bells of all tones, pitch and size. Each member will be allowed to seleet a bell, which will be elevated to its “I don't care what you young pio- neers say! America’s still the land of opportunity—didn't Uncle Fred just open another swell speakeasy?” proper place in the carillon. When the bells are securely meshed, the carilloneur will play a selection which does not include the bells chosen by the new members. He will follow this with another selection incorpors the bells. In this manner the mem- bers will become familiar with their personal pitches. Th ter, regard- and, they will be able to distinguish their pitches when the carillon is in operation.” less of where they 1 it i it is certain, will attract the better grade of patronage to the airport, particularly among the occu- Further- every effort will be made to pop- ularize the trip through the under ground passages. Expert grotto gu will point out interesting sidclights. such as Grotto-Upkeep, Grotto-Over- ain-Grotto-Stabi , the Inter- t Association's Combi- rport, Carillon Shed & Infant Feeding Clinic should fill the erving 1 for which it is designed. It will » a long way toward reducing the hazards of aviation and carilloniza tion, And—with subsequent conti- nent-wide carillonization added to safe gigantic stride will have een en in wha believed the present, to be the right dir: pants of ships in distress. Curt Siarer comicbooks.com