Judge — March 26, 1932 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Doctor's Wire—You should attend to the sick and leave the well alone! JUDGE A Dozen Common Errors Women Make By Ricuanrp Leoxarp axon Wittiam M, Strone Mitts article obviously does not afford space to enumerate the more serious blunders of women in a man’s world. Our purpose here is merely to list a few of the peceadilloes which women might easily avoid if they would: Bag-Ssaprine. Nothing lays bare as many weaknesses of women’s men- tal processes as the handbag. When- ever a man hears the familiar snap- ping or unsnapping of bags and purses he knows what to expect. Some man is creating a disturba theatre or concert-hall, prob: the one moment when silen Or she is blocki box-office or wo- is most yz the line window precious. to a cashier's while she busies herself with Bac-Fumarine, Scientists have not yet had the temerity to estimate the amount of time lost each year by women unsnapping the bag, fumbling for the inner purse, unsnapping the purse, fumbling for a quarter, finding a nickel, replacing the nickel, finding the quarte the purse, ping the ly movin This performance mented by Bac-Droprine, is commonly This is the climax, and perhaps the most amusing, of the whole series of Bag-Blunders. For convenience, this category may also be considered to include Lipstick-, Van- : Glove-, Handkerchief-, Package-, Program- and Money-Drop- pin xiT-Brocktne. Busy and are a woman's idea of the exits entrances perfect place for greetings, arguments, banter, confidential whispering fessions, con- why-didn't-you-call-me-ups, and prolonged farewells. Jane-Watkine. This curious trait, a feminine form of jay-walking, has almost unlimited variety of mani- festations. The two which cause men the amusement are: First, the mad dash across the empty street with not a vehicle in sight, and sec- ond, the easy saunter out into a macl- greatest strom of speeding taxis, street-cars, trucks and busses. Bus-Biunpens, cludes street-car- and train-blunders. It consists chiefly in getting on the vehicle and getting off at the Women meet both these that This eategory in- wrong wrong place. situations with a simple device, of bawling out the conductor. Rate-Butxpness. This among New York women, in selecting out of a whole fleet of taxis the only high-rate cab. hailing it with an imperious gesture, ailment, common consists and often getting into it before the escort can make clear the nature of the mistake. Visit-Stretomne., “I had no idea what time * she says at the end of a long evening. “We really must be going.” Interval of twenty min utes. “We must be going, really.” In- terval of twenty-five minutes. “Teal ly, we must be going!" Interval of thirty minutes’ talk in bedroom of hostess. Period of fifteen minutes spent in farewells. Final period of ten minutes of post-farewells in hall while elevator boy holds elevator door open. Total time elapsed since first false start: One hour, forty minutes Restavrant Enteors. These in clude: Wondering - What - She - Will - Have; Over-Ordering; Order-Switch ing; Pecking, Patting, Poking, Strok- ing with and Dawdling over Food; Waiter-Baiting; and Astigma- tism. Tur is inside Exit Lupicrovus. The scene n elevator in an office build The car stops and the door is opened. A passenger catapults her- self out. She looks around in befud dlement. he wrong floor. She cata pults herself back into the elevator. The door slams. (This scene is re- peated at all stops until woman reaches proper floor.) Teteruoma. The telephone, like the hand womankind at its weakest. It was woman who dis covered in this miracle of science aven-sent medium for “visiting.” Tue Harry Hextixe Grounp. No place offers such opportunities for women to indulge their the theat A_ comprehensive treatment of this subject would re quire a volume in itself. Among the more important chapter heads would be: Arriving Too Early, Arriving Too Late, Wanting a Drink of Water. Complaining of the Heat, Complain of a Draught, Complaining of Seat Le cation, Whispering, Sniffli Fidget- ii Paper Crackling, Bolting for Ladies’ Room, Sitting Adamant While Others Struggle to Reach Seats. Searching for Lost Articles, Applaud- ing at Wrong Time, Laughing Too Late, Missing Point of Play. Opinions differ as to which of the errors here enumerated make for the But if pressed for our own opinion, we should reply that when a War of the Sexes finally breaks out, the opening gun will probably be the snapping of a woman's handbag. ing. exposes vagaries as does most ridicule of women by men. comicbooks.com