Judge, 1932-03-05 · page 10 of 36
Judge — March 5, 1932 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Picnic at Cason Point" - Judge Magazine Satire This is a humorous fictional article satirizing a spelling bee at a school picnic. The satire works by having children select famous 1920s-30s entertainers and cultural figures as team captains—Mae West, Groucho Marx, Walter Winchell, and Percy Hammond—then having these celebrities answer spelling questions with characteristic wisecracks rather than actual answers. The joke targets both the celebrities' public personas (Mae West's sultry confidence, Groucho's irreverent humor) and contemporary American culture's celebrity worship. By placing these famous figures in a children's educational context, the piece mocks how entertainment celebrities dominate public discourse while suggesting they're intellectually frivolous. The editor's note frames this as social commentary: our "weary civilization" abandoning serious pursuits for entertainment-driven pastimes. The children's casual profanity ("to hell with it") reinforces the satirical point about cultural decline.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE j Ws a ‘The » N POINT The oe Cage hs U Reporters prove they can beat actors spelling at Guild’s Picnic. —N. Y. Herald Tribune Eprron’s Note: In the following article, the author has caught 1 glimpse of what may result when our weary civilization turns back once more to the simple pastoral pleasures of yesteryear. At these hoof-beats approaching? been eaten, “life has its serious side, 4% Hoof-beats, surely. »w they vou know. We shall hav round the bend, faithful old Dobbin drawing Farmer Broun’s great hay wagon, piled high with jolly, laughing © Mencken, who couldn't spell very young folk (and a little hay, too, of — well, and knew it. course), It is Miss Westley’ s class “Don’t be a Meddlesome Mattie, on its annual pienic to Clason Point. Henry. Bully for you, Miss West- What a bustling and chattering as Dob- ley!" cried little nklin Adams, bin stopped and all clambered down! who could, and knew it. In less time than you can say Yes! Bully for you “Knife” it was high noon, And short — the children, clapping their hands. work they made of Miss Westley’s -And I appoint Master Groucho overflowing hampe rs, I can tell you! Marx and Master Walter Winchel Now, children,” cried pretty Miss captains,” continued Westley, when the last crumb had “Please to choose sides, boys a spelling Oh, bother, no!” cried little Henry “I say, to hell with it,” remarked pretty Hope Williams. * shouted all “T choose Mae West,” cried young Groucho, proudly. “And I choose Percy Hammond,” said Walter. And so, in a trice, the s were chosen by the leaders. . Mae, p) ase give me ‘co muh | y hab, i-t, it, cohabit,” | ata | with a proud toss of her } 4 close-curling locks. Hy) “How refined Mac West is! How i t and tony,” whispered littl atie Cornell to hier pal, Katie Wilson. “T say, to hell with it,” remarked pretty Hope Williams pleasantly. | “Fie, Hope! A forfeit! A forfeit | for the Peanut Fund!" eried half a dozen voices, and Alec Woollcott, run- ning to the hay wagon, presently re- turned with a toy savings bank, into which Hope dropped a penny which she took from her pocket; for you must know that the children had insti ) tuted a penny fine when “naughty” 4 hel | words were unnecessarily used. | j / And now, Master Groucho, let’s ] t see what you can do with ‘hoplite’,” | said Miss Westley sternly. 4 “H-o-p, hop, I-i-t-e, lite—when her / husband comes in at the door, I hop ¥ lite out through the window,” replied } Groncho. | And, oh, children! I wish you could have heard the commotion then! Pret- ty Miss Westley clapped her hands over her ears to drown out the eri of “Schlemiehl !” “Klotz !" “Momzer!"" which rent the air. “Halts Maul, du verdammter Ese bellowed Miss Westley, finally losing remands 4 comicbooks.com