Judge — February 27, 1932 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LOY BYRNES “Pardon Me, Madam” By Winifred Willis Ares the more serious problems of young men is that of the old lady who travels alone, Chivalry is Chiv- alry, and all that, but the thing can ake up practic- oung man’s time. develop so that it will ally all of a4 With a view to forewarning those who have not as yet learned to temper their Chivalry with Caution, I am venturing to outline a few of the tepes which should be a tiptoe. ready proached on for instant flight: The Groper This type is seen in railroad sta- tions, groping about in a sort of fe laden down with umbrells ackages, azines and lug She is most often found yearning around informa- tion booths, muttering inquiries, buy- ing tickets for just any old place, and later, boarding just any old. train. She always has trouble getting money out of her purse, and never receives the proper amount of change after making a purchase. The Bee-Liner This is the panicky, forward-plung- ing type—the type that waits for no man (or at least never in the right place). The sort that barges across rooms, wide boulevards and ions, running down any- that chances to cross her path. Heading swift and true as an arrow for some unknown destination. The great danger of this type lies in the fact that the unwary young man is often impelled, through sheer curios- ity, to pause and watch her perilous advances. If he does, lights on him, he is ruin type, nd her eye For this demeanor cous front, is always lost. despite her fiere Once in her hands, a young man can say good-bye to his plans for the day. The Fumbler This type is frequently stalled in a train (the found in right train, like as not) seat located, and struggling to get her belongings into the over- head rack. She never succeeds, but will steadfastly refuse all offers of assistance. Tf persisted in, these offers of assistance will throw her into such a state of agitation that whatever she has in the rack will fall down on her. Measureless confusion About now, the conductor will come along, and dis cover that she is in the wrong chair. Everything has to be moved to an other overhead rack. When she is finally settled, vainly trying to com pose herself, and casting waverin is bound to ensue. suspicious glances upward at her | gage, or across the aisle at you, vou must sternly check your impulse te reassure her in some manner. Know that anything you might say will be used against you. The Nephew Meeter She is generally waiting to be met nephew she has never seen he was six and had long golden If you linger even a second, she will take you for him, will have a time of it est your identity. You can't get out of this situation without appearing the veriest cad. It is actually easier, once caught, to just fill the role of nephew, and not attempt to exp! y thin: In addition to these well-deti and ecasily-detected types, there are "1 y lesser ones also to be avoided. Don't let anybody fool vou, the loose old lady floating around is a problem. “Hey, Flanagan, can you change a century?” 26 comicbooks.com