Judge — February 13, 1932 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Newton didn’t win that race Lydia Pinkham never saw a pill, He went into the lead early and stayed there. Nobody passed him. But’ when he got into the stadium there was Teato of France running ound the track. How did he get there? W And where was he between 9 and 11 o'clock on the night of June 4th when Lady Cadwallader was boffed over the bean by two men suspected ing members of the Gopher gang The marathon seems to be t in the long run—best for international unpleasantness. A ribbon clerk from Bloomingdale’s department store in, New York won the race eight years later in England and they still talk about it around Buckingham palace. It probably wouldn't help the debt sit ition any to mention what they shnny Hayes was the American rd- winner, a smallish, junior-size 1 der with iron legs and iron couras Judging the Sports (Continued from page 9) Some people say an iron head is also essential to success in running mara- thons, but LE wouldn't know. At any rate, they gave Hayes the trophy when Pietro Dorando, the Italian, col- lapsed in the stadium, near the finish, and was illegally helped across the line. I" was three hours after the race before a committee consis house of lords, the knight of the bath, two Trishmen from Brooklyn out of an amicable confere ing like a composite picture of Wi at Toledo, and announced that Hayes was the “official” winner. The implication was, that while Hayes hadn't actually won the race, there was nothing else to do in view of Dorando’s indiscretion in not hail- ing a cut-rate taxi, but to recognize TOU CALIRVE oF, (wes + pRo’- ANNERS CARRIED IN COMMUNIST PARADE UNION SQ. Ny/ IRwWG SQUAD IN Perrpzriovicrov, SOVIET UNION, IN EXECUTING A ]) TovAust, PLACED THEIR GUNS WRONG END TO AND SHOT Themsetves dif bn! “PAsies ARE NOT BORN IN TRUSSIA, “Tey ARE HATCHED IN INCUBATORS SUPPORTED By~ he STATE: “THEY ISSUE FORTH FuiL~ (i) FLEDGED GOUSMEVIKS AFTER E1GHT DAYS. wy tl enzane Worermakkiore CN Lanowite m Ameaicne wt 30 SAWA PIKE OF Soap Fea THe Fiaoy Tine. HE “ToueuT or WAS CANDY; ATE (F, AND HAS BEER Blowing] Ove BLES Ever Sole. He StUS “Er Fem TEY CaLoenS, 26 the American. It might have been difficult. to. recognize Dorando. Hk wound up ina hospital. a casualty for three days. “They said his heart gave out.” re- marks Hayes. “But it wasn't his heart, it was his knees. A guy's a sucker to believe all these doctors say.” A number of similar instances testing to the sound value of interna- tional sports as a healthy stimulus to nd will and peace on earth might be cited, In fact. they will be cited. I always say there is nothing like seeing the cites for a fellow’s nerves. It climinates dandruff, too. A couple of Olympiads back, a soc- cer game in which the Yankee Doodle Dandies were competing was broken up by French customers whose zeal for the furtherance of neighborly un- derstanding reached such a high point of religious fervor that walking sticks were curved gracefully around Ameri- can necks and vice versa, This, of course was all done with reverence for the traditions and de vout respect for memoricy of Latayette and Washington, It was a very mov- ing speetacle and an added lot of tenderness was recorded when the American players, back in their dress- ing room, discovered that their strect clothes had been frisked of watches, dollar bills, souvenir post cards and those indispensa little red address books. Another delightful Olympian ehap- ter was written into the books when our Swedish cousins found that those vile Americans had smuggled a phony, underweight discus into the 1912 games, a bit of Barrie whimsicality that was grossly misinterpreted and in its sinister implications utterly ill- founded, And there was the more recent alle tion by England that the four Amer ican sprinters in the last 100 meters, inspired by the wily Mr. Charles Pad dock, plotted by means of repeated false starts to wear down and elimin- ate HM, Abrahams, the British crack and only other feared competitor. Somehow these innocent, boyish pleasantries seem to linger in mem much longer than the glory of heroie- ally carned triumphs. Possibly. this is why I am reluctant to pt in toto (he was a clown wasn’t he Olympic gam sufficiently God-like to end wars, dis- mantle navies, keep kaisers in exile, and, in short, to make everything just too lovely for words. v * # * Next week: Around the werld on a r—and put plenty of Cointreau , Tony. comicbooks.com t