Judge — January 23, 1932 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ea should make it posible for him to bathe without removing his clothes, if Progress is to continue, Possibly by some Schick dry-cleaning And the Schick shave also ought en- ible a man, in the very act of shaving, to carry on safely a running ante- prandial argument with his wife with- out danger of slitting his epiglottis. Result: masculine superiority in the ascendeney again. Last, but oh, not least, the Schick will have its influence on the Greatest Thing in Life—Love. Take this sit- uation: A young, pleasant fellow is it to ask the Only Little Girl to ht the depression with him hand in hand, when she says: “Oh, John, what awfully rough whiskers you have! And instead of cracking back: “The better to seratch you with, my dear,” he will merely say: “Oh, but 1 brought my Schick!" And, so saying, he will whip out the wondrous plug it into the electric socket right behind the couch (no fuss, no mov- ing around), and fix those whiskers with a flourish. process. Between Courses \r TER ascertaining that your victim +} doesn't know the trick, you bet him the price of the meal he cannot tie a knot in a cigarette without de stroving it. He tries and, after he breaks about ninetcen cigarettes, you put a stop to the car the cellophane off the cigarette pack- age, you smooth it out flat. Then you roll the twenticth cigarette up in the cellophane and twist the ends until the thing is airtight. You will find now you can put a deft knot into the cigarette without b it. Another: Ch, tk Stream” into the names of a famous pair of brothers. Stripping Unimportant Items ME ze women in revolt against Mid-Western culture who came to New York to ope shoppes in the V revolting and are Middle-West. Get hold of a calendar which fore- casts the weather for the year day by day, and you can have a lot of fun checking up on the Weather Bureau, hy rtistic lampshade lage have stopped returning to the SAcoR SLIPPED BAC — JUDGE even tho there's no money in it, All rumors to the con- trary, Walter Winchell’s real name is Walter Win- chell with one 1. One of the inventions recently exhibited at the Hotel Show at the Grand Central tlace is the new — self-opening door, A person's shadow fall- ing athwart the door opens it automatically. Hotel managers say this will save them thousands of dollars, often break dishes and spill foods in. trying to get thru doors. as waiters so If you have ten min- utes while waiting to change from the B. M. 'T. subway to the 1. R. T. Itth Street, pop out into Union Square and get an eyeful of the fur fashion show that goes on for the benefit of the S. Klein- klientele. This revue is different because it’s on the 2nd floor and you neck to have to crane it; the girls would make the Minsky Bros. seek a lower production level; and it’s free. Joe Sayre wishes me to ask his friends not to bring empty suiteases to his apartment on Beck- man Place and fill them with his fireplace wood before they go to hotels. He would like to keep warm this winter. My idea of a per popular song title is “I'm the Man Who Married the Girl Who Broke Up the Home of the Girl Who Married the Man Who Broke the Bank of Monte Carlo,” Testimonial Yo may be the sort of person who likes his sex seven days straight and is hard put what to do for di- version on Sunday morning have the very thing to fill your ds. The Bridge port Herald, published in Bridgeport, Connecticut, one day a week. The Bridgeport Herald, then, is a sweet little super-tabloid whose sole purpose in life is to whoop up Sunday morning in the ancient and honorable Sovereign State of Connecticut. It picks up, with large shovels, every little odd bit of scandal the Connecti- cutups have indulged in during the week and plasters its quite unchaste pages with flaming headlines pro- claiming these infamous peceadilloes to the world. Here is a headline ré- sumé of the week's grist, copied right off a typical edition of the paper: nk Panties Wreak Havoc with Elders’ Marriage"; “Couple Caught in ‘Adam and Eve’ Act in Cottage”; “Collegiate Cop Crashes Cottage, Catches Caress”; “Three Women and Two Men Snared as Raiders Explore Rooms”; “Grid Stars Not Convicts”; and—"Hailstones Make Ice Cream.” The latter, of course, may not be ra but it is startling. So much for Pa ils included.