Judge — January 16, 1932 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

\VE LST My MARRIAGE License! A Losing Business T may interest you to know that business is booming this year in the Lost & Found Dept. of the Grand Central Terminal. In fact. business is so good, mind you, that they're thinking of moving into larger quar- ters. Well, I don’t mean larger than the terminal, but something like that. One of the dept's. biggest items is the annual surplus of 30,000 calls for goods that the aven't even got, Curiously enough, expensive elry leads all the rest in loseabilities. A lot of people who lose very valu- able bracelets, rings, tiaras, etc., quite unconcerned about it, too, After- ward, it turns out, the heavily insured. Of course there is the endless list of umbrellas, seem jewels were over- raincoats, and babies, but people go in enthusiasti- cally for live stock, too, There's a beautiful black-and-white cat that's been living at the Lost & Found since last January, and they've had pig- cons (not, unfortunately, the homing canes, purses type), monkeys, parrots, love-birds in d pups in little covered and so on ad infinitum. At times, they say, the Lost & Found looks like qt mith- erson, the man in charge, acting as a JUDGE Altho I have heard of no lost cows or horses— snakes, white rats and baby have been found. By way of introducing the world's most absent-minded man, an artificial leg was found recently stuck cosily under a train seat, with nobody at- tached to it, and once, several years ago, a wooden arm was found. Then no less harrowing, the as the of the attractive young cutie who came tearfully into the department, explaining between her falling salt- drops that she had come to N to meet her future husband at the in- sort of curator impromptu. lions _FINE LENER wor! \T SOUNDS LIKE SKUNK BUT ISNT, MR. DITMARS /9 ation booth, purpose matrimony, but had lost her mar- riage license on the train. somehow It was found presently by the sympathetic Lost & Founders—in her para- sol, of all places! Oceasionally the de- partment that le: stumped. I was lolli counter, these notes, in rushed a well-dressed if er wild-eved young “Have worried, as they say, as hell, “found my aunt? I've lost her!” ts a demand s them entirely F'rinstance, as inst the ring in precious you,” she cried, The New Breed was iel, and there he was cowering the bottom So my evidently a span- of an excavation. 12 friend's wife, being a sweetie-pie of a softie, had him rescued by four little boys and, since he carried no identi- fication tag, took him home to apartment to wait for a noise in the Lost & Found columns, (The little boys were given tea as a reward and carricd themselves like the — little brave gentlemen they were 1oun- like the bashful kids of the last gen- ion.) a» HIGH. HAT however, didn’t take to his new and, possibly, permament In fact, he promptly crept under a sofa and shivered tim- idly until the Master of the Apart- ment came home. Even then the dog didn’t thaw. He was strange. It came then as it comes constantly into the lives of all people who keep zoological Jens in New York apartment houses, time to take Fido out for a spin and have his oil changed. The Master d 1 the poor little skeert thing out at the end of a Christmas tie. (Page 26, please) home at once. comicbooks.com