Judge — January 2, 1932 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE REGISTER HERE, WESTERNER As soon as a guest registers, in this hotel I'm going to build, a couple of pickpockets will relieve him of his watch, While he is being led toward the elevator by a bellboy, the guest will see two sleck gentlemen in evening clothes, each with a blonde moll dangling on his arm, open fire at ange with pistols. They are Joe Ginstein and Handsome “I'm sorry I asked for the chemistry set, Pop! In the elevator, operated by a former member of the Russian nobil- ity, a thug will take a satchel con- taining $145,000 worth of diamonds from a jewelry an. The trip downstairs for dinner is equally picturesque. The guest, wear- ing a brown derby and spats pro- vided by the management, will be be- seiged in the lobby by Broadway gold-diggers, wearing $25,000 ermine cloaks, provided by millionaire ad- mirers. Two lads peeping from be- hind fronded palms, with pencils and pads poised, will turn out to be O. O. McIntyre and Walter Winchell. The guest has to fight his way from the grasp of the gold-diggers to reach the dining room, which covers four square acres. The couvert is d when the guest kicks because eck for ham and eggs and pie 34.55, six husky bouncers will throw him out into the street. Two po- lice captains and a sergeant then carry the visitor into a near-by speak: The guest is exhausted and tered, but absolutely satisfied. It is his first trip to New York, and the big town turned out as he'd always pictured it from stories and tures. has We got the idea after a recent trip to Wyoming. If a dude ranch with phooey atmosphere will go over big with New Yorkers, we reasoned, wouldn't a hotel for western dudes go over big in New York? —Cuet Jounson mee “If I say you dassn’t go, dun’t tell me WHO!” Protest icropnuone! Microphone! you no heart? ou add to your wrongs. ¢! Microphone! Why did you start Bringing us Hill-Billy songs? Misery! Misery! Sickness and erime— Daddies found dead in saloons. Audience! Audience! Have a good time Weeping at Hill-Billy tunes! Microphone! Microphone! Cut out the grief! Turn off the torrent of tears. Microphone! Microphone! Grant us relief— Silence the sad mountaineers! —Artucr L. Lippmann Near-Siouten Lanntapy—Are you two married? 8 comicbooks.com