Judge, 1931-11-28 · page 12 of 36
Judge — November 28, 1931 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# "The Low-Down on the Thanksgiving Racket" This satirical piece by Quentin Reynolds rewrites the Pilgrims' origin story as a cynical commercial scheme. The article presents Miles Standish as a scheming businessman who uses the Thanksgiving holiday as a front to sell expensive turkey to settlers during hard economic times (referencing the stock market crash). The humor relies on deflating American historical reverence: the noble first Thanksgiving becomes a profit-driven "racket." References to "Mack Sennett comedies" (silent film slapstick) and the illustration showing a woman in hair curlers undercut romantic notions. The cartoon mocks both Pilgrims and modern consumers who overpay for turkey annually without questioning the origin story. This reflects 1920s-30s cynicism about commercialized holidays and American capitalism disguised as tradition—a common Judge magazine theme targeting both greedy businessmen and gullible consumers.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE THE LOW-DOWN ON THE THANKSGIVING RACKET By Quentin ReyNoips [ti tell you how this Thanksgiving Day business started. The books have it all wrong. Get a load of this and next time you pay $1.00 a pound for turkey think what a sap you are. Miles Standish was a Big Shot in the colony of Ply- mouth. He was goofy about a babe named Priscilla, but as far as she was concerned he was just another outfielder. Miles sent one of his bright young men, a lad named John Alden, around to see Priscilla, figuring he might put in a good word. So John got himscif all dressed up like a doorman and went to call on Priscilla. She was baking a cake at the time so he sat down and had a picce of it. As soon as he tasted it he ‘ot all about Miles. “You're a lucky girl,” John Alden says, “to have a guy like I nutty over you. Run upstairs, pack up your clothes, and wait at your window. I'll get a ladder and put it up to the window and you sneak down, We're going to clope.” “But,” she says puzzled, “why do that? Why not walk right out the front door Already you're with me,” John hollers at her. “Listen, I going to elope and the only way to elope is out the window, I'm up on my Mack Sennett comedies. Now scram....” o they eloped and Miles Standish was so sore he almost gave up drinking. A whole year passed and then John d Priscilla came back to the home town, They figured Miles wouldn't be sore any more. They got themselves a house and one day while Priscilla is out mowing the lawn “Gan, I've heard about you football players!" Miles comes along. She has her hair up in papers and. she ex-burlesque queen on the loose. } takes one look and says, “Boy, what a break for me that John Alden fell for her.” He feels so good about it, that he thinks maybe he will celebrate. Com- bining business with pleasure, he orders everyone to celebrate. “It will be a day of thanksgiving,” he says, “and everybody's gotta come to the party. We will have turkey for din- ner and the couvert charge will be two bucks a copy.” NJow the catch to this was that 4N Miles was in the turkey business. It had been a poor year, what with the crash of the stock market and all, so most of the settlers had been force: to live on pheasants and whey like that. This was a great chance for Miles to make himself some change and he squeezed it. He called it Thanksgiving Day, he was so thankful that John and not he was hooked up with Priscill Everyone came to the dinner which was held the next Thursday. There was nothing much clse to do anyway. The movies were all closed and the “Somebody pinch me! She just said ‘Yes’!” (Continued on page 27) 10 comicbooks.com