Judge, 1931-11-14 · page 13 of 36
Judge — November 14, 1931 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page from *Judge* contains two satirical pieces about New York City dialect and urban life. **"Stop this nonsense, driver. I'm in a hurry!"** (top cartoon): A chaotic car accident scene mocking the frantic pace of New York City traffic and impatient drivers demanding speed despite dangerous conditions. **"Lessons in New Yorkese"** (lower section): A humorous dialect lesson satirizing working-class New York accent and speech patterns. The exaggerated phonetic spellings ("Oowow wouch," "Smatta Aliss") mock how New Yorkers (likely Italian and Eastern European immigrants) pronounced English. The sketches show someone getting an eyelash removed using crude methods—a comedic "first aid" lesson demonstrating both the accent and the resourceful, no-nonsense attitude stereotypically associated with New Yorkers of that era. **"I'm gonna have to turn off your lights..."**: A utility company threat about unpaid bills, satirizing the city's modern infrastructure and collection practices. The satire targets urban working-class culture and immigrant speech patterns.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE yevva sinsit happened. —Youleemy yalone, ‘There how maybeitll comeout.” “Comeoutfgossakes wyshouldit “Wy shoulddennit?” meyie swaterin ' * Aver wistairical Aliss? Wyshould- 17 ya rye comeout jusspecaws ya- got sumpn inni “Welloffawl—Iyaint tawkin aboum- meyie. “Ono youwas tawkinnabouta Rooty Vallay maybe.” I nout” Imtawkinnabow — wassimmeyie cominnout. Wiechitaint.”” “Lissen now yacambee makina spec tikkil ayaslef ‘onna streecorna. — Ln- gonna gettitout forya. Heresmee han- kachiff. Openya rye now...” “Oolookout oowouch! Oo! “Igottit. Iwwassa specka doit. Howsat now ainnat betta?” “Oowats fine. Thanks Ruthie. Oomygawd !” “Now wassamatta?” “Oowow wouch! Now Igotsumpn inny otha one!” || “Stop this nonsense, driver. U’'m ina hurry!” —H. W. Haxemaxn nt tawkinnabow meyie comin- Lessons in New Yorkese First Aid “Cowow wouch !” “Smatta Aliss watissitt? Stop dancinaroun willy: “Oowow Iga sumpn imme yie. Oow- oowouch!" “Here vus alookattit.” Jast touchit. Iffeels asumpn. Iffecls likey npia State buildin, Ow!" “'Tryblowin yanose.” “Ittaint imme nose issin me yie!” “Agsallright. ‘Tryblowinnit.” “Blowyarownnose willya. Isis sno- time fafoolin, Ittoits.” “Wellen try pullina uppalid daway fromma eyeballan rotatinnit.” “Yeah an pumme — leffootaroun wissle. Chathinkiyamma swom- cyaint tellin metadowex- likeawas | Maha m meestinn Igot sumpn imme ight wyncha dolike Itoly “Wot rotate meyiehall likeawas Sireen Bawdoni? Chalikeme tadowan Al Jolston pahap “Lissen Idacare wachado — hey dondodat Aliss! Donrubbit yallag- garavatit.” Yeah wellyoubcen aggaravatin me- “I'm gonna have to turn off your lights if you don’t pay your bill!” comicbooks.com