Judge, 1931-10-03 · page 10 of 36
Judge — October 3, 1931 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains three distinct satirical pieces: **"Fall Request"** mocks Daylight Saving Time's end in autumn, complaining about lost sleep since April when it began. **"Vindication"** satirizes corrupt politicians who spend enormous sums on lawyers and bail bonds defending themselves against bribery accusations—ironically proving guilt through their desperate denials. **"The Dictionary-Writer Gets Off A Love-Letter"** parodies pedantic writing by presenting a love letter where every emotion is replaced with dictionary definitions. The lover describes Rose using technical language ("limbs of the human body which extend from the shoulders to the tips of the fingers") instead of romantic language. The cartoon below shows a doctor and patient, with the caption joking about a "perfect system" for winning horse races—a parallel mockery of absurd certainty. The satire targets pretentious, overcomplicated language and the gap between how things should be expressed versus how pedants actually express them.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE Fall Request P* ase don’t wake and call me early, please don’t call me, Mother deat; Daylight ing Time, remember, ends about this time of year Every morning, since last April, I PRESSED have lost an hour's snooze; WHILE | Standard Time helps us to make up YOU WAIT, | what by Daylight Time we lose. — as SUITS Nowadays if a suspect were to beat up a couple of cops in the station- house—that would be news. Vindication tT seems that politicians invariably resent the implication that they have taken money to which they are not entitled. So anxious are they to refute such unfounded and malicious charges that they will frequently fight the charges of taking that money even if it takes every last cent of it for lawyer and bail bond fees. —R. C. O'Brien “See if you can get the shine off the seat.” The Dictionary-Writer Gets Off A Love-Letter D' angst Rose: You may be certain I am your lover; specifically, a male person who adores another of the opposite sex. You can be equally certain that Ih been faithful to you, having shown, and acting with faith, sincerity, up- rightness, trust, veracity, accuracy and exactness. I have spoken to your otherwise a male parent; he +, yea—expressing af firmation or consent, as opposed to no. How I hope we may be mar soon and take a wonderful trip. gether we can look over the beautiful horizon, the arent junction of the earth and sky, a plane passing through the eye of the spectator and at right angles to the vertical at any given place. I will clasp you in my arms, the limbs of the human body which ex- tend from the shoulders to the tips of the fingers; also, the corresponding limbs of a monkey. Rose, I want to tell you that you are the only woman, an adult female person some- time: y female person; that I have ever cared for. In closing, I cannot tell you what a tempest, an extensive current of air, commonly with rain, hail or snow, is raging in my heart. I remain, Always, at all times, contin constantly during a “My system’s wrong? Ha, ha!—at’s a laugh, Doc. Perfect system—only period, or regularly at sta yesterday I picked a winning siz-race parley!” periods Your Alexander. comicbooks.com