Judge, 1931-09-12 · page 9 of 36
Judge — September 12, 1931 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis **"The Explanation"**: A radio announcer explains his deteriorated appearance by listing every product advertised on air—corn pads, cigars, spring water, mouthwash, yeast, tonics. The joke satirizes the absurdity of radio advertising's exaggerated health claims and suggests that listening to constant product pitches has literally worn him down. Radio was still relatively new in this era, making broadcast advertising a fresh target for satire. **"Ignoble Experiments"**: This section mocks Prohibition-era lawmakers by listing absurdly specific state laws—Pennsylvania forbidding ground glass in movie censors' food, Boston banning arson at the State House during Red Sox games, New York criminalizing hitting Rudy Vallee with a megaphone. The satire suggests legislators waste time on ridiculous laws while ignoring serious issues like Prohibition itself. These appear to be invented examples highlighting legislative overreach and absurdity.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE The Explanation “M’* worn,” said the doctor, “how did you ever get in this shape?” “It was this w: doc.” said the little man with the funny voice. “1 used Smith's corn pads.” “But—” “I smoked El Fumo cigars,” con- tinued the little man, “the cigar with that gentle aroma. I drank Noko: spring water, guaranteed te bring back the flush of youth. I used Pep sptic mouth wash for dandruff, alitosis, sunburn, and hangnails. I ate Billsbury’s yeast for my complex- ion, and took Dr, Jaywalker'’s tonic for run-down folk, I— “Wh. said the doctor in alarm, “you must have been reading all the ads and: -" No, doctor,” said the little man with the funny voiee, “I—I'm a radio announcer.” Truth Nowadays when folks come te che parting of the ways they start a gas station. Ignoble Experiments creat furor has been aroused concerning the stupidity of the Prohibition Law. While the hue and ery are being raised, why not consider these other crying evils of legislation: In Pennsylvania it is unlawful to put ground glass in the food of a mov- ing-picture censor. In Boston, Massachusetts, there is a law against setting fire to the State House when the Red Sox win a ball game, In New York City you are liable to fine and imprisonment for hitting Rudy Vallee over the head with a cast iron megaphone. They get you in Biloxi, W’sconsin, for heaving a rock through the win- dow of a neighbor whose radio is play- ing stridently after midnight. In Cleveland, Ohio, it is an offense te strangle young girls who ask you if you saw that awfully cute drawing in The New Yorker this week. In San Francisco it is unlawful te let the air out of the tires of auto- mobilists who wedge your car into a parking space so that it is impossible for you te get out without tearing a fender. In Baltimore you can be arrcsted for attacking a man who says, “Well, "You're a dope to match pennies with the warden. He’s owed me ten if it wasn’t for the depression—! dollars for fifteen years! —Artuur Sitverstarr comicbooks.com