Judge — September 5, 1931 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE JUST THE BEST TIME By Quentin Reynolds “VV t's that, madam? ... You want a pair of stockings that won't shrink, tear, rust or varnish? pre you are, lady, just the thing. Try a pair of our 3 1, medium ain chiffon, picot tops—the stocking with a person- ; as mist and they'll stretch like chewing gum. These stockings are too brave to run, too proud to shrink lady, they'll catch every eye in the subway her bounce away, Mamie. “Maybe she didn't like my sales talk. I learned that from Jack last night, and, oh, Mamie, I must tell you, Jack was over last night and we had just the best time. ‘And, Mamie... come here and lemme whisper... Jack prac tically proposed to me. I must tell you. Well, Jack calls me up and he says, “Babe, did you expect me to come over to the house about eight o'clock tonight I says, “No, little sunshine spreader, I didn't expect yo “Well, Babe,” he says, “prepare for a pleasant surprise be- cause I'll be over. I'll be over in person, not a motion picture. Now do not get delirious with j Babe, but calm yourself.” Before I could think of a snay swer he has hung up and Iam furious, beeause I had planned to do some ironing last night, but after all, y own true Wonder Boy, and © out we have just the best all dressed up in that new canton crepe with the scalloped bolero jacket and when I wrap. that around iy slender figure you couldn't tell me from Marlene Dictrich. Then when I glide into those gen-you- wine rep-tile pumps of min ches a few drops of that French perfume on my lovely. tresses. » I got it for Christmas. wa they call it—they spell it e-: o-u-r and it means water of love thing. Well, I do not mind s: I am a knockout when I finished and when I look in the glass at myself I figure that if Jack don't hurry over I will end up by falling in love with that lovely vision T see. ext, he finally ambles in, and I am ready to see him drop dead at the shock of seeing such a gorgeous thing as I, but instead of which he says, “My jawd, dearie, have you been burning ves in this room, or has your old man been smoking rubber in that pipe of hi I did not know at first what he was referring to, but then I realized that it was my ew damwa perfume he meant, and the big bum is so used to smelling sawdust in the Plumbers’ and Mechanics’ Bridge and Whist Club where he works, that he does not appreciate things like a ave you “No.” T comes ko at him, “but if you make any mo cks about my per- fume you will have something in your eye, and it will be a big piece of beef- comicbooks.com