Judge — August 29, 1931 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Political Review (Reading from top to bottom, all major events can be seen at s chart good until 19 and: Government four (five, six) votes. binet resigns; welcomes globe fliers. Spain: Students riot. weathers another storm, misses de- ‘rance: ¢ premier Republic Italy: Mussolini denounces, ete., ete Germany: Banks close doors. Scien- j tists startle world. America: Hoover fishes; Stimson nf fishes; Coolidge fishes; Kellogy fishes; Will Rogers fishes. D ran Mr. Silverblatt: If you care to send us any of your jokes or humorous verse, we shall be glad to give them a careful reading We might mention that we strongly prefer jokes and verse that have grocery or ware slant; they should be ori 1, of course. We hope to find something from you in the mail soon. Very truly yours, A.D. Mercitson iditor, fardware Times, “The Modern Grocer.” The Only Sensible Way to Pick Blackberries. “You're a h—l of a lawyer. Life he gave me—life!” “Gosh, that’s right; I forgot all about the Baumes Law.” 18 “He's learning to time his fouling with it.” PATRONIZE YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD HUMORIST D' ar Mr. Murchison: I have been looking over my supply of jokes and humorous verse to find some with a grocery or hard- ware slant to send to you, but to tell you the truth I have been having dif ficulty. Here and there in my desk drawer I find a joke with a florist or an insurance slant to it, but for the life of me Le seem to find one gro- cery or hardware one. ‘The neg have come to it is a sonnet that I wrote three years ago that has a definite delicatessen slant to it. This has set me to wondering wheth er [really understand what you want. Take, for instance, this joke! SimpKins—What did you give up drinking for? s—I did it for the wife and Looking over my jokes I passed right by this one, because I figured that the only slant that could pos sibly have would be a speakeasy one secretary, a Miss Blod red with me. She argued t all modern grocery store: departments and that meat depart- ments scll kidneys. So this joke would be a perfect one with a grocery slant. But somehow it didn’t sound just right to me. around some more un- lly found this poem near the bottom of a trunkful of old manu scripts. I figure this is about right: Alrirs: peaches, plums and pears, Nuts and bolts and Frigidaires, Shredded wheat and ivory soap, Toilet paper, one inch rope, comicbooks.com