Judge — August 8, 1931 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

APPLICATIONS FOR DRIVING TESTS —=> JUDGE ANYTHING FOR A LAUGH By Marion Deitrick “Tene, at last! The feature’s start- ing. I'm er: Charlic Chaplin. « ; you, Jol cided I was right and what y ed tonight was something to 1 laugh. Goodness, you certainly killjoy when you come home the way you did tonight, all melancholy and glum.” “Umy “Well, it’s not fair tome. I should think you'd feel you owed it to me to me cheerful and smiling after being away all day. J always try to be pleasant and sunny.” “Ump.” “Of course I know you're sort of upset over the old business depression, but you ought to look on the bright side of things for my sake. Now forget your troubles, dear, and enjoy the pic- ture... .. Oh, look, isn’t that a scream? he’s sitting in the statue’s lap. By the way, you mustn't forget to leave the money with me tomorrow to re- place that piece of antique statuary you broke at Mrs. Trunket’s party. It cost seventy-five dollars, she said. Oh, isn’t that screaming? What's the mat ter, don’t you think it’s funny, John?” “Sure. Uh-huh. You bet. “Look at all the policemen. It seems as if they should remind me of s. Oh, I guess what I was thinking of was that summons you got for speeding. John, you mustn't for- get to appear at court tomorrow. Of course it’s too bad that 1 you wanted to see about the contract is coming to town, but I think it’s more important to obey your country’s laws. - Oh look, the poor girl's blind. Don't you pity poor blind people, John?” come “Yeah, sure I pity ‘em.” “I knew you did, so I knew you'd want to subscribe to the International Blind Fund. A poor blind man came to the house and told me all about it, so I gave him that check you left me to send to your dentist. . . . Oh, look, John, the man in the picture's going to commit suicide! I never could see y any one would want to commit could you?” rlie Chaplin’s going to save him. There’s another policeman. Oh, now I know—what I was think- ing of before wasn’t your summons at all, it was my ticket.” For parking too long. I forgot to tell you... . Oh, f ? John! You're I'm laughing.” “And look at the gorgeous home the millionaire’s taking him to. Oh, de: it’s terrible sometimes to think how we'll probably always be living in cooped-up apartments, with no luxu- ries at all or anything nice... . Look, he's. pouring the liquor in Charlie's pants, That reminds me, John, you've simply got to stop going out and drinking with those rowdy friends of yours. I want you to turn over a new leaf and stay home every night with me... . There—I know the dancing reminded me of something. We're in- vited to the Rummages’ formal re- ception tomorrow night, and we've got to go whether you like it or not, be- cause I've already accepted for us My goodness, just look at the w: he's driving that automobile. Oh, n I know what it was the polic re- minded me of, John! It wasn’t your summons or my ticket at all—it’ was (Continued on page 31) | ga “The waiter has been in on so many deals, that I have made him a vice-president of the company.” } comicbooks.com