Judge, 1931-08-01 · page 12 of 36
Judge — August 1, 1931 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Explanation for Modern Readers This page contains three satirical pieces from *Judge* magazine: **Top cartoons**: Light social humor about sunlamps (newly fashionable), horn safety, and horse vulcanization—absurdist jokes with no deep political meaning. **"Presidential Timber"**: The main satire mocks corporate cigarette marketing. Tobacco executives at Murgatroyd Company debate selecting a new president. They reject experienced tobacco men (Benson, Maxon) in favor of Ronald Richards—chosen solely because he's a classical musician and conductor with no tobacco expertise. **The joke**: This ridicules how corporations make foolish hiring decisions based on superficial qualities rather than actual qualifications. It also satirizes cigarette advertising's manipulation—suggesting a famous musician lends cultural prestige to an inherently dubious product. The irony is that a Toscanini-like figure somehow qualifies to lead a tobacco company, exposing the absurdity of modern advertising and executive recruitment.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE 20th Century Revision Motte may I go to the shore? } No, my darling daughter. The sun lamp burns you just as sore, So why go near the water? ) The National Association of Music ] ? Masters considers adopt as a slo- i] gan “Teach a boy horn and he will not blow a safe.” No, but he'll blow a horn, “How much do you charge to vulcanize horses?” | NAW SITTER SENSATION | PRESIDENTIAL TIMBER CONgy ISLAND! T's directors sat in the oak-paneled “T want to propose my good friend es hoard room of the Murgatroyd To- Dick Benson,” suggested Director bacco Company, manufacturers of the Daugherty. “Dick knov “Bison cigarette—the fastest selling bacco plantation in V He brand in the nation.” The mecting spent twenty years in Sumatra. In had been © new presi- addition to his knowledge of tobac dent to su terson, who he’ natural-born had retired with fifty million dollars ecutive. Bison cigarettes need him.” and high blood pressure. Absolute silence grected the nomi- nation and Mr. Daugherty threw up his hands in sture of resignation. Mr. Clea tleared his throat ‘d like to propose Henry Maxon,” he said. “Henry spent’ ten years in Java. He spent five years in Turkey. He comes from a famous old tobacco family. There isn’t a better equipped man in the country.” every to : “Darn these blankety-blank Jer sey mosquitoes!” The assemblage remained silent. ar end of the table Mr. Buck ened his lips and stood up. ‘re both able men,” he agreed, “but they're not exactly the type to put over Bison cigarettes. The man we need is Ronald Richards. He studied violin under Leopold Auer. ‘ He played ‘cello in the Philadelphia Symphony. He has discovered some of the best voices in the world. He's the best judge of orchestras in the country, a musical arranger. In short, he’s a Toscanini with the executive ability of a Schwat The directors rose to their feet as one man. “Elected!” they shouted, “for the continued glory of the Bison Cigarette Radio Hour!” © —Hveu Woon 10 comicbooks.com