Judge — June 27, 1931 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

served at a Love sounds inday dinner at dif- newsstand—two Nests and an Orange Crush delicious! Sature breakfast) an could be the dinner, $ luncheon an’ same—only dine ferent newsstands. Saturday after- noon could be spent in playing “Field Day" up and down the train, make it hard for people to get in or out of the cars, and Saturday night— well, ly is a swell leg show ating opposite you in’ the You'd sleep on a seat, tucked in among Mirrors, Graphics and Americans, The subway Sunday morning could be a ride under Brooklyn's churches, and your afternoon could be spent on a Coney Island train, listening to the raucous voices of the pleasure-bent or pleasure-spent. If you lovers have the mothers along, the three of you could trip up to the motorman’s vesti- bule for a spot of bridge—the motor- man making the fourth. At least I shot craps with a subway motorman a coupla years ago coming back from Sheepshead B: I won his cash, watch, and pince-nez case before we got to City Hall. Then he shot the train against my winnings, and he made his point just as he pulled up in Times Square. Oh-h-h, well-ll-ll! Easy come, easy go! there usu: suby Eye-Queues PLATE-GLASs window is 4 ft. long and 4 ft. wide. If the cost of washing it is 2c per sq. ft., how much JUDGE LK docs it cost to wash the entire window? A tenderfoot is lost ona pitch black night. With no matches to light a fi to scare the animals away, he crouches ter- tified at the foot of a large tree, waiting for Unable to wink a ght watches the wild gleaming at him the underbrush. how he survives the night, totters into camp at dawn and _ tells his story. Outlined above, what was wrong with his tale of woe? There are three triples and three singles made in one inning of a base- game, yet no rons are vou ball fans? <s—No, 1: If the servant to open the mail-box, he would not have d the profes- sor’s letter and hence could not have forwarded the mail. Also, even if the professor had mailed back his key, he still would not received his unfor- warded mail. No. 2: 103 eggs. A Head for Chemistry the dawn, sleep a long, he eves of mals from Some- ball scored. How com Last we was unable receiy have ne days when you tested your right- off-the-boat by apply- ing it to the varnish Now the thing has been not only put on a sci- entific but you don't have to be a bar- room Haldane to find out the genuineness of what you are about to slip down the old hol- low leg. What I mean to say (well, i then) is that for § you can purchase thos the Hotel Astor Phar- macy the brand-new Chem-Test. Comprised of three vials and a test tube, snugly put 21 basis, 2 together, you can conveniently carry it around in at-pocket and set up your own chem laboratory under the table at Tony’s or wherever it is that you invest your income Preferred, and do your own The idea, then, is to pour a little of what you are about to swozzle—wine, beer, side r or pony—into the test tube. Then add some drops of vial No, 1, containing permanganate of manganese. ‘To this add a few drops from No. 2. This contains sul phuric acid and will decolorize the tasty brew. A couple of drops of No. 3 is then added and, if the stuff goes purple, pick up your hat and cort and sweetheart and silently st away. Purple signifies the presence of either methyl, wood alcohol, acitone or alde- hyde, all of which if ta in suffi- cient quantities will entitle you to the use of one lily. However, if the tube remains clear, huzza! It means the stuff is pure, and you can safely stay and soak it up until the River Gordon runs dry. Of course, I don’t put much faith in the Chem-Test. If you've been do- ing any serious drinking for the past twelve years, you have probably de- veloped speakeasy stomach, and I’m sure if you (Continued on page 26) - ALWAYS A SHOW INTE SUBWAY — comicbooks.com