Judge — June 20, 1931 — page 24: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Do you boys play Bridge A JUGOSLAVIAN TRAGEDY Betorane, Jvcostavia.—Sy} attention is to be ven to women and children, and when a train is over-crowded, with people inclined to be “grouchy,” train conductors are to be humorous.—News Item. right, now everybody, don't crowd in too much. Plenty of room for everybody! Why, you're almost as comfortable as you would be in your own Austin! Or in a miniature golf course, heh, heh... . What's that. lady? You want to get off here? Why, that’s easils managed. You're a little off already, ha, Ah. now don’t glare at me like that, lady. I'm not your husband! “Things really aren't so bad here, folks. Now you know what a sardine feels like! Around this time im: of us are pretty hard pressed anyway! I suppose you ladies would feel perfectly reading: ‘Big Sale in the Ba home if I put up a sign in Basement’! “May I have your ticket, sir? Yes, you with the tin, I mean, with the derby. You say you gave me your ticket? I'm sorry, I don't think you did. Come on, make believe you're a cop! It would be a pleasure to give me a ticket then, wouldn't it? “No, sir; I'm afraid I don’t know why the hell the train doesn’t go faster. Perhaps it's because our new engincer, Captain Campbell, didn't show up for work today! ... Why, yes sir, there was a smoking car on the train yes- terday, but the president of the road decided it was too young to smoke and I guess it gave up the habit! ... What time do we get in? I don’t know about you, madam, but I'm a man of exemplary habits and [always make it a point to get in before nine every evening! “Will L open the window for you, miss? Well, I don’t know, lady. There’s a rule around here that those win dows aren't to be opened till Christinas. “Would youse say, ‘wid deep regret, or ‘poignant memories’?” comicbooks.com