Judge — June 20, 1931 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LK passed beautifully through wicket one, but ran afoul of wicket two and drifted leftward. I went through wickets one and two under strain of a I then set myself to shoot for position over near Clifton’s ball. Just as I started to swing in, Clifton tore seross the course and hee hovering off my nose. pushed me away from my ball with violence T wouldn't credit! “Idiot!” he loudly said, “shoot to the left, opponents as they come through tio wicket!" I was dazed — never had been spoken to like that in croquet. Clifton walked to the left and marked the spot where I was to shoot. I did it exact- ly right, and my life was spared. Clifton returned to his ball mumbling- lv. George then skimmed through one ind two wickets, turned and shot at his partner's ball successfully and thus won two shots. He and Raoul then went into a long conference about who was to be shot to Kingdom Come -Clifton or I. They decided on Clif- ton. George shot at Clifton’s ball sue- cessfully and glued the balls and shot Clifton through the down a coupla terraces, across a pansy plan- way from our trees, tation and into some dense woods on a Clifton tore afier treak, retrieved and shot back magnificently near his third wicket, Raoul then passed through two wicket and prepared to take a long shot at me. » and Clifton came loping over to my position, got down on their knees to make sure of a hit or miss by Raoul. Raoul’s ball bumping along and barely 1, T thought. Not so my Missed,” hissed Clifton. ! orge and Raoul chorused. Missed!" I said, with prac F fighting spirit. The discussion be loud and “names” were bandied! Mallets were waved threateningly. George and Raoul went into confer- ence. Clifton and I went into con- Clifton nearly convinced me neighboring estate. it like ano Geor, came fere that Raoul and George committed the St. Valentine’s Day murders in that go ga tionable word now and then from the I caught an unmen- Raoul-George pow-wow. We settled it quarter of mine. wire at losir finally " by tossing a Clifton went hi he toss and threw my was a “h JUMOR AT THE “TIME HE WAS KNOWN |, AS HE BOBBY JONES “oF CROQUET.” — Tt took Raoul 1 with his was successful, and was again pounded off the into the kennel run ponderous Irish wolfhound, who cht he was being given a nice ball to tussle. It took twenty minutes to convince the dog otherwise and play the ball from the hole he'd buried it in. My turn to play. 1 pretended to study the situation, knowing in’ my crumbling heart that Clifton would tell me what to do, He did. I was to shoot for George’s bali, which I did with a direct hit. Then, after a ten- minute discussion, Clifton decided I quarter into a thick thicket. me all next morning to find then made for Clifton’s ba two free shots, Clifton course, this time off the course into the ex- cavation for a new house two lots away, at the time position. I glued the balls, held mine down with my left foot and hard. a terrible sock. in some way my ball, instead of George's, shot off the course into the excavation. I wish you could have seen my partner's face at that moment. It looked old and pasty and like a delta. He walked toward me just as same remaini 19 he walks toward Tamara Geva before he throws her all over the stage in “Three's a Crowd”! A greenish yel- low baby spotlight on him would have been swell as he stopped in front of me. Jack Baragwanath, Neysa’s hus- band, who is a powerful Alask ld miner, stepped between us 5 “Back to your ball, Webb!” And I limped off to the excavation a bit un steadily. Lots of things like that kept on happening, and we lost. I lost five dollars, some shirts and collars, and Clifton went home without saying good-bye. He just said “Better luck next time!” snappily nd si Eye-Queues A CERTAIN professor, on leaving 4% town, instructed his man servant to forward all mail to him, Some time passed and no mail arrived. The prof wrote to inquire the reason for the delay and received the following re- ply: “Dear sir, 1 could not forward your mail as you have taken the key to the mail box with you, Please for ward same.” ‘The professor immedi ately posted the key and got his mail properly from then on, What’s wrong here, oh, my friends? Aoman had a certain number eggs. 1 his first customer he half that amount and half an egg. his second customer he sold half the (Continued on page 29) BEFORE “HE GAME fi BEGAN, WHEN THE Prayers WERE Stil FRIENDS. “THIS ALSo SHOWS THE DRESSINESS OF CROQUET— -comicbooks.com